Weberlife Instafeed

Monday, February 11, 2013

Life as an Entreprenuers Wife

Bottom line?  It can sometimes be lonely.  Sometimes you feel like the luckiest person alive and sometimes you just feel alone.  I have never found a great way to deal with this loneliness.  Before we had Grayson I could predict when Doug would have a few busy months and so I would book my own schedule solid so that I wouldn't notice.  This was a different kind of lonely, but our fierce loyalty to one another, and our willingness to let each other live their dreams made it work.  Every year or so the big question of kids would come up and we would decide that we needed to wait for a better time.  It was the right decision.  Every year.  Then I realized my window to have children with my soul mate and the absolute best person I know was coming to a close.   We just needed to make it work.
We had watched Doug's business partner and his wife have 2 beautiful boys during our journey together and always wondered just HOW they managed to make it work.  We weren't sure we were made of the right stuff. 
We had a choice to make and we kind of just leapt.

It was the right choice, but it is a struggle every single day.

This past weekend was the first real chance in MONTHS Doug and I have had time to talk about names for our little girl, him to put up a baby gate, and to really TALK.  The stuff that makes us work, has definitely taken a back seat.  We sometimes don't talk during the week.  He always comes home to see G for an hour before he goes to bed and give me a second to breathe, but then it is just time to go to bed to start again at 5AM.  Often there are emails to answer or phone calls to have, these are the things that make a company go. I trust Doug, he always makes time for what is most important, there are just a lot of important stuff going on always.  Also this new phase in Mastery Connect is uncharted waters for us all. 
Relationships within the company are morphing and whether we like to admit it or not it affects our life outside of work.  There really is no choice.  Start up life is just that:  a different kind of life.  One we have always loved, still do love, but we are trying to figure out how to make everything work.

It is a work in progress but I just found a new to me blog that is discussing the very issues that are rolling around in our heads and taking over parts of our life.

Feld Thoughts
also his book
Startup Life, how to survive a relationship with an Entrepreneur

have become great resources for this Wife of an Entrepreneur. Grateful that there are others out there struggling through this amazing, albeit sometimes lonely life we have chosen.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

It's a GIRL!

17.5 Month and Maternity Pics(32 ish weeks) ***WARNING***

there are some photographs that you might not want to see
in this post.  If you disagree with partial nudity then please
refrain from reading this post and looking at the pics.


No, but seriously, you are about to see some partially nude pics of G and I so really, be sure to make sure you are up for that.

 ******************************MODESTY BUFFER********************************

I really thought long and hard about whether to post these pics but they are some of my favorite ever and I think they are so very beautiful.  It seems weird that I would never dream of posting partially nude pics of myself when I am NOT pregnant, but these pics, well, they are the most innocent I can think of.  Mama and babies.  Bodies from the bodies that made them.  It is too amazing for words and I just am in awe all the time of bodies, my body especially.  The way it has grown, changed, created, and felt. Doug did an amazing job with these photos.  I am really demanding and hard to photograph.  NO ONE wants to photograph the photographer!  He stuck it out and the result I am so very happy with!

These are my two babies.  TWO!  I cannot believe I am about to be a mother of 2 and also a mother of a little baby girl.  I think I am feeling everything you are supposed to: excitement, fear, overwhelming curiosity and much more.  I also feel so much guilt.  I cannot bear the though that Grayson will not have my full attention any longer, that he may feel feelings that I cannot shield him from, that he may feel left out or replaced.  These are the thoughts that keep me awake at night, spinning, over and over.  My heart must have to break in order to make room for this little girl because that is what it seems is happening.