Stealing the Show.

This was Revi's 6 Month shoot but I had my little boy by my side as always so I couldn't resist getting a few shots in this beautiful light in the most amazing fall I can remember. 
It is his heart that will always stand out.  In a crowd, while reading stories, while picking out pastries at our neighborhood bakery.  He is kind, he is careful and he is curious.  His kindness is  a disarming kindness, the kind that doesn't happen often.  I am excited to see him every single time I do.  He is also a joker. He is my littlest boy, and he barely fits in my lap, which makes  my heart break and sing, all at once.  I guess that makes me a mom.

Our 6 Month Old

 I don't really know what to say.  This month has been a bit rough and I think that is ok to say but not always easy to allow myself to think.  My beautiful, curious, smart and sassy little girl wants to be attached to me day and night and while I am flattered, it is taking it's toll.  She is desperate for me, every minute of every day and it makes me wonder if that means I am doing it wrong, or right or if I ate too many cookies while pregnant with her or if I am not giving her the right kind of attention or stimulation or that she has low self esteem or that she is too demanding.  Any and all of it my fault.

Sigh.  Mommy guilt is alive and well in our house!

But. Guess what else is happening?  Grayson and Revi have developed their own language of sorts.  They babble back and forth and laugh hysterically and then start all over.  Then they reach for each other and hold hands and then more laughter and then more babbling.  It just doesn't get any better.  It doesn't.  Their bond is already apparent and I am just hopelessly in love and breathlessly watching it unfold.  That pretty much sums it up:

I am hopelessly in love and breathlessly watching it unfold.

My life is a dream and a whole lot of work.  And there are tears.  Almost every day.  Both happy and  and bittersweet and also tears of frustration and sometimes even moments when I know that I cannot go on another minute.  And then I do. And then I am proud.  I know that I am giving every single ounce that I can to make their life healthy and beautiful and interesting and educational and clean and fun and well, a life they will remember fondly.  And that makes me know that a moment has not been wasted, and that makes me happy.

I am so intrigued by my little girl.  She and I share a bond that is intense and still unfolding.  I am both amazed and overwhelmed that I get to experience having a daughter.  Especially one as fierce and soulful as Reverie is.  She is unlike any other person I have met.  She is captivating and demanding and beautiful and whip smart.  She will leave a deep and lasting impression on the world.  Just watch. 

Grayson 2 years Old!

Today is our Birth Day. Technically it is the day that Grayson was born. 2 years ago, at 3:24AM our beautiful, kind, curious, magic little boy was born into my arms, in our home, and I became a mother(and Doug a father). But in my mind, when reflecting on that day we all were born and were changed forever. We became something we weren't before. A human, a Mother and a Father. In our tiny little bathroom in the middle of the night we all had our jobs: Mine to listen to my body, and my little baby and work together to bring him into the world, and Doug's to keep the rest of the world at bay so we could transform. We all had our parts to play and in our own way were changed. So, on this day, for the rest of my days, I will always consider this day our Birth-day and lovingly so. To my littlest boy: you are everything that is good in this world. You have shown me so many wondrous things, about myself, your Dad, the world and life. I will never stop being in awe and in love with you. Mama

Reverie 5 month photo shoot

These quite literally took us all day to finish.  We started right after breakfast and worked straight through until 1AM last night.  We took breaks for naps and to eat.  Thanks to Doug for taming the chaos and understanding just how important it is to me to do these photos from time to time.  My cell phone acts as day to day documentation of our lives but you just cannot replace having formal pics.  At least I cannot.  I love how her attitude is beginning to show.  She has been such a go getter from the beginning and I cannot believe she is almost 5 months old! 

She is our loud little one.  She made more noise in her first week than Grayson did in his first month!  She never really had a newborn cry and as Doug always says: "she has a set of pipes!".  She loves to have talks and if I don't talk to her at least for a few minutes every day(one on one. eye contact conversation)  she gets really upset.  I always just sigh and hope that it always remains this way even though I know it will not.  We are just peeking our heads out of the newborn phase and getting back to somewhat normal life and trying our best to get some semblance of a routine in place although with a 2 year old that is proving difficult.  They are both such happy and curious children and I just cannot wait to see what they do next every day!