So...I disappeared for awhile. It happens :) Since January I have been working on the movie 127 Hours starring James Franco
I learned a lot, worked A LOT(my sister actually said she talked to me more when I was abroad) and met some amazing people.
I did have to quit 3 weeks earlier than planned because I was pregnant--operative word: WAS. This was our second try--the first was in Nov, we found out while we were in Japan. It miscarried at 10 wks, this one at 12. I have put off telling everyone because I feel such a mix of things. All at once I feel ashamed, devastated, discouraged and cheated. Trying again seems so scary( i am sick ALL DAY LONG) and sometimes I wonder how it is that people actually have healthy babies(and in our state MULTIPLE) Let's just say that meeting and working with the amazing Danny Boyle pales in comparison in my memory to the day that the dr told us, again, that there is no heartbeat. Don't worry, this blog won't turn into a pity party YET, but seriously, I never thought that one little thing could have such an effect on my psyche, my work and my outlook on life.
I am back to my old self finally and ready to again return to the land of the living but changed in ways I never thought possible.
2 comments:
I'm so sorry you've had to go through that. Miscarriage is a really tough thing. I remember feeling a lot of the same emotions you mentioned when we went though ours. I'm sending you hugs...I wish I could be there in person to give you one.
You are one tough cookie, and even though sometimes you wonder...you will get through it. And you'll be a better, more compassionate person because of it.
Love you. I wish you all the best as your try again. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. hollydward{at}mac.com
Hopefully it helps a little to know that miscarriage is pretty common. It's always nice to know you aren't the only one. Even still it does suck going through it! & I'd never wish it on others. I'm here if you need me.
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