Weberlife

Being a New Mom

2011-12-29T04:22:00.000-08:00

Looks a little like this. Between all the yawns and only having time to post to this blog from my phone(hence the poor quality photos and lack of detail in posts) I am feeling pretty behind on a lot of things. I am also having the time of my life with this little guy. He just turned 4 months and has discovered his hands. He loves to stand(with help), squeal and pinch. He is such a great little baby and smiles at everyone he meets. So while I look tired outside, I am so very happy on the inside.

My handsome Boys

2011-12-28T08:43:00.001-08:00

Grayson loves the bjorn(finally)! Today Doug took him for a while so I could get a few things done. Doug worked and walked on the treadmill while Grayson watched. Doug came down the stairs and proclaimed: "well, now he knows how to program" What fun these two will have together!
Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Bench for the Bjorn!! What a useful Christmas Gift indeed!

Barkers visit

2011-12-26T20:23:00.001-08:00

**notice that Cleo wanted to be in the photo? Sneaky little doggy!**

We had a short but very sweet visit with the Barkers!
We love you guys!

Hanging out

2011-12-26T20:21:00.001-08:00

Grayson and I waiting@Tom and Leslie's. What a cutie!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-26T20:19:00.001-08:00

Grayson's first and a happy one for us...hope it was for you too!

Merry Merry Everything

2011-12-25T05:24:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Aunt Missy for taking this photo and for making the adorable scarf! We feel so very lucky for 2011. We truly feel humbled. A great year is just that much greater following a few hard ones. Thanks to all of you who in one way or another have supported, encouraged, celebrated and loved us.

Grayson's Day

2011-12-08T06:11:00.001-08:00

We wanted to have a special day marking Grayson's arrival with our closest family. It was a very small affair that we planned while Kevin and Rosie were visiting. There are many others that we know will play a huge part of Grayson's life, but once we started looking at our circles outside of this group the numbers increased A LOT and the partybecame overwhelming instead of do-able. Below is the actual "Naming" part that Doug read to Grayson.The rest of the ceremony included advice from our parents, a book read by Leslie, a poem by Rosie and a song(and MC-ing) by Wayd. All in all it was a happy and emotional day--thanks to all who came and took part!(Sammi was sick :( we missed her!)

Grayson Michael Weber

We as your parents are so happy to have you here. Safe and sound. The last 3 months we have had such a great time getting to know all of your tiny little ways, pinching your sweet cheeks and kissing your tiny little fingers and toes. We are painfully aware that all too soon you'll be big and we will yearn for these days back again. So we are taking it all in, every moment of you--ness we can get we are taking. Today though, we want to take some time, right now, while things are still new, to give you some insight into the name we chose for you as well as to promise you a few things things.

First let’s start with your name.

We really really did not want to mess that part up. After all your name is your first impression, your brand to the world. It is, in many ways, weaved into who you are and how you become who you will be. What a responsibility to give someone a name! We chose Grayson first, simply because it suited you. We had several names picked out but this one really was the only choice once we met you. It reflects strength and style, subtlety and cleverness with just a hint of nostalgia. We often find that in our own life the truth lies in the Gray, the fun, and the richness of most things can be found not in the extremes, the black and white, but somewhere in the middle. The Gray’s. We had only known you 3 or 4 days when we decided for sure that this would be your first name, but something told us it was supposed to be yours.We gave you a name without too much historical baggage in order to set you on a course to forge new meaning and impress on all you meet a positive association free from any preconceived notion or expectation. Look at it as a blank canvas--you are free to be who you choose.

Now on to your middle name.

Your mom is very very proud of her family and the closeness they share. The Bench family is very much a clan, and growing up a Bench is the source of great pride for her. Aesthetics aside, her first choice for your middle name may well have been Bench but it wasn't specific enough( and as you will learn your mom has never been good at leaving aesthetics aside) According to your Grandma Heather, Mickelle’s name was chosen because it is the feminine form of Michael after her father your Grandpa Bench. Additionally, you have an Uncle Michael, and also my parents gave me the middle name Michael. So no matter what we decided your first name would be your middle name was destined to be Michael. Your Grandpa Bench, the original Michael, is welcoming and kind, gives people the benefit of the doubt, always plays devils advocate, and will always welcome one more to any party. Together he and your Grandma have built a family of which anyone would be proud. They value family above all else. A lesson we truly hope you take with you. They choose authenticity over glamor, honest work over the easy way out, and offer a quiet but potent example of putting the people who mean the most to you, first. May you inherit their kind hearts, their loyal spirits and their green thumb!

Lastly, and never to be forgotten, you are a Weber. A name for which you should be proud. The Webers are known for their keen minds, their kindness and their industrius ways. They are devoted friends and loyal to the end. No one can out work, or out love a Weber. My family, since they immigrated to the United States, have been practicing Mormons and many still are. As you will learn, your Mother and I have not chosen that path and would not choose it for you. However, … take all the good there is from this heritage, internalize it and use it in your life as you would any tool. My advice to you is quite simply, trust in yourself and your own ability to make decisions and choose right from wrong. There are a lot of hard decisions in life and no one can make those decisions better than you. There is some comfort in feeling like you know all the answers, but there is more lasting freedom in choosing to always be questioning. The world is full of adventures waiting to be had. Practice moderation in all things, treat others as you would choose to be treated, and be and let be. There is truth, beauty and fulfillment to be found in all things and ways of thinking. Do not ever feel the need to limit yourself. Let these principles guide you and you will find any answer you are seeking and enjoy a full and well lived life indeed!

Finally Grayson there are a few things that we want to promise you as your parents. We cannot promise to be perfect in their execution but we will try.

1) We will love you and support you no matter what happens in your life, or in ours. It seems simple, and perhaps goes without saying, but we will.

2) We promise to work as a team and have the best marriage we can for you, and for us. We love each other so much that we decided to have a you! You are first and foremost an expression of our love for one another and our wish for it to never end. We choose each other every moment of every day. And choose you always, thick or thin--you are our life’s work and joy.

3) We promise to laugh with you(and at times at you) cry with you, guide you, and listen to you. We promise to try to know just what you need to hear when faced with life’s many challenges and to teach you to build a community to turn to when we do not. If you were to look around this room we have tried to get you started, you can always turn to any one of these people for guidance:

You’ve got Max and Susan who are adventurous and studious. If you ever need a good book or a good laugh you can count on them! You will be better for knowing them, as we all are.

Uncle Michael and Aunt Sammi: their kindness and subtle, careful ways are to be admired. They will not offer advice unless asked but never mistake that as not having lots of wisdom to give.

Uncle Kevin and Aunt Rosie who’s fun ways and never ending energy always make for a great time. They are true craftsman in the life they have built together. They have a thirst for knowledge and a insatiable lust for life. Your cousins already love you too--what a gift!

Grandma and Grandpa Bench who will teach you to grow a garden and brew your own beer!If you are really lucky they will teach you to fish or waterski!

Uncle Tom and Aunt Leslie who among other things could teach you to refurbish a house, plan a party, mountain bike and make a good stiff drink--and that is just on a saturday!

And last,Grandma and Grandpa Weber who are true renaissance people--any question you have, they will know(or know how to find) the answer, they will teach you to love and cherish life, and to always be game for any new adventure.

Grayson we cannot believe that we could ever love anyone as much as we love you. Never forget that you are worthy, but not entitled to all the good life has to offer. Work hard and it will find you. You are a gift to us and if you will allow us to be active spectators in your life we will count ourselves among the luckiest people alive.This is your life and your name--we know you will use them wiselyMama and Daddy

2011-12-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

Tom and Les were also formally named Grayson's Godparents--Below is what I wrote and read to them.

Tom and Les,

There is just no great place to begin--you are our best and closest friends, also family, you never let us down and always, always are there to remind us to have a good time. We have been through a lot so far, the best of times and also the worst so far, have included you guys.
We always wonder how it is that we got so lucky to have people like you in our lives, you are both such a gift to us. Grayson is lucky to have such a dynamic duo to call his godparents.

If it isn’t obvious why we chose you for this task, well, let’s just say Doug and I barely discussed it. It goes without saying: you are the absolute closet thing there would be to
us raising Grayson if we were unable for any reason. However, there are at more than a amazing things about you guys, that are unique, that we hope he sees and emulates.

Let’s start with your humor. You two, on your own, both have such great comedic senses about you. If I need to laugh, I head to the Reese’s. Together, you make quiet the act. You have such a special connection through laughter and it is so amazing to see(and additionally very very entertaining) Additionally, we knew we could count on you guys to not take the “god” in god parents very seriously. We do, however, expect Grayson to be fully prepared to debate the distinct difference between PBR and Heinekin, learn that golfing while drinking either will undoubtly improve your game(or at least your impression of it) and how to enjoy the comedy in everyday life. You two are masters of that.

Next, your ability to get more done in one day than any two people I have ever met. Your house alone is a testament to just what a great team can do when tasked with something that seems almost impossible. Others see a beautiful home with great style and craftsmanship. I see that and an incredible love letter that you two have written to one another in all of the walls painted, all of the carefully chosen details, and the spaces you have made your own. Grayson, and with a little more time, his cousins, will have so many adventures in that house that you have created so lovingly and carefully.

Also, you are careful with your words, both of you. This is a lesson I am still learning, but as I have watched you two navigate the waters of some of the cruelest things that any person or couple should have to endure, you have done so with Grace, and an openness that you should know is very, very rare. A particular example is when I was with you two after Les had a very rough surgery. Tom had some devastating news and I will never, ever forget the way he knew just what to say and when to say it. He delivered the news in it’s time, and in the only way she could have heard it. It took my breath away. Additionally, it is never, ever hard to tell how important Tom is to Leslie. He is her top priority, her best friend, her partner in crime and her first choice in companion for all things. We can only hope that Grayson will someday find a match so well suited for him.

Last, you are both very slow to judge and always learning and evolving. This may be one of your greatest attributes. In Leslie’s classroom she thinks through each square inch of it. Additionally every party she throws(and she has thrown quite a few this year) she has every detail mapped out, and every detail accounted for. Somehow she manages to remember everything and also everyone. This is a rare gift. In Tom’s love for all things outdoors he is meticulous and refined. Never taking or buying anything extraneous, but when he does it is the right tool for the job. It is traits like this that kids pick up without thinking.

In the end we know you will be there for Grayson, you already have been there or heard about his birth, our first weeks together, every sleepless night, every health concern real or imagined, and have been there for us and him as a constant force of love and support. We will forever be grateful for our friendship and now, we are grateful that you have accepted the formal title to what you already are. Grayson may be the luckiest little boy alive to have you two in his life.

Thank you doesn’t quite cover it but will have to suffice,

Doug Mickelle and Grayson

A Very Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-28T16:33:00.000-08:00

This was our group in Leslie and Tom's very first Thanksgiving in their home. They did an amazing job with the help of two very hardworking elves(Mom and Dad) It was the most delicious and stylish

year on record, with good friends and family alike.

Grayson's Birth Story

2011-10-15T06:15:00.000-07:00

Posted on Dec 29, 2011--I found this that I wrote shortly after he was born and wanted it posted here--

Grayson’s Birth Story

The story starts way before the day of. Doug and I took the full 9 months to decide where and exactly how we wanted to have our baby. It was in the last month that I decided that I might want to be at home and that I wanted Les to be around. Our midwife was very supportive to us being flexible and going with whatever came our way when I was actually in labor. Our biggest goal was to have as few interventions as possible but to have a healthy outcome for both me and the baby. After 12 weeks of Brio Birth classes I was convinced that my labor would be long and I would be late. On Thursday Doug and I took a walk after dinner and I was having contractions I was thinking that it was good that I had these “practice contractions” so I could have a bit of a preview and maybe some of the work would be done beforehand. I was tired so we didn’t do much that night and we were planning to see our midwife the next morning. Doug had also just booked a refundable flight to San Fransisco for a meeting on the 8th(yet another reason for me to be late: Murphy’s Law)
So we woke up Friday and went to see the Midwife(Rebecca) she always has a lesson for us and we are always there at least an hour. I wasn’t very comfy sitting throughout most of my last trimester and sitting on her couch I started to feel like I was going to pass out. So I stood while she explained all about what is normal and what is not when it comes to newborns. Little did we know we would have a newborn in less than 24 hours! Rebecca suggested that we spend a lot of time together in the next 2 weeks since there would be little time for that once the baby arrived. We listened to his heartbeat, which sounded awesome and went on our way. Doug went to work and I set out to do some of the last errands on my baby list and grocery shopping. My dad called while I was a Babies R Us and asked “is today the day?” to which I responded: “no, today is not the day” I also talked to my mom and explained to her that yes I was having contractions, but they were mild and prelabor can sometimes last weeks, esp on a first baby. I walked around the store, feeling really tired and crampy, came home, layed down for a nap and the contractions stopped. When I got up they came back so I asked Doug if he would mind cleaning out the tub so I could take a bath--he was about an hour away from being finished with work but quickly did it for me. When I got in contractions stopped. From birth class I knew that if they go away in the tub, it isn’t real labor. So I got out, and we focused on dinner plans. I said I felt like Indian but not like going out. So Doug ordered to go and went to pick it up. I layed down for a bit and ate the Sag Panier that he brought home, then we decided to listen to a book on tape in bed since I wasn’t feeling up for much. About 30 minutes in I was WAY too bored with the book and preoccupied with contractions and asked Doug to turn it off. I just kept thinking: “when we do this for real, I need to be much more relaxed!” It was about 10 PM and I could tell that Doug was getting suspicious. He tried to hide that he was timing the contractions. I wasn’t going to be fooled, but in my mind this was good practice for the real thing. He kept asking me if they were getting stronger, I didn’t think so, but I did keep thinking that I really need to focus on relaxation because I was having trouble staying relaxed. Doug started trying a few of the positions that we had learned in our class, again, in my head this was all great practice. We answered a text from a friend who wanted to know what a good place for drinks was downtown and I apologized that I was not feeling up to meeting him, so we would not be joining him. The contractions started coming right on top of one another, so I asked if we could go upstairs for another bath. I just needed a break between contractions--then I would be able to handle them again. I wanted to lay down but that made everything more painful, the bath seemed to be the only option. I remember saying to Doug: “I just need a break and I am not getting it and I don’t know why!” When I got in the bath he continued his text conversation with our midwife and asked me if she should come. We deliberated for a bit--we certainly didn’t want to make her come here for a false alarm! We didn’t feel like things were out of control and I still thought we were just being first timers and overly dramatic. I began doubting my ability to do this for real when the time came because this practice was getting pretty painful! We determined to keep her updated I think but after that I don’t really remember much of what Doug was doing as he played the part of party planner and orchestrated everyone where we needed them to be. I remember being out of the tub, having a really intense contraction and digging my nails into Doug’s arm and holding on. He stayed strong and just held me up, there was nothing I could do, my body was taking over. I got back into the tub and suddenly my body began pushing--without me doing a thing. It scared me, a lot. I said to Doug: “My body is pushing and I can’t stop it--something must be wrong!” There was nothing left to do but surrender. I felt safe and able to do whatever I needed to. I just held on for dear life. Labor was happening to me, but I was starting to feel desperate. I couldn’t handle 12 more hours of this! I began calculating in my head how much longer I could do this--5-6 hours more? Maybe, but then all the stories that I had heard about women showing up to the hospital only to find out they are dilated to a 2 and not effaced began flashing through my mind and I began to be very afraid. I started to cry and Doug rubbed my back. At some point I heard him on the phone with the midwife. I hear him say: “She says you are doing great! REMEMBER: Low tones--she will be here in 20 minutes” Rebecca arrived and I just remember saying to Doug: Please don’t leave me. “We are going to have a baby soon!” Rebecca sang as she unloaded her supplies. I remember asking Doug to ask her to be quieter, and if she could check me. “I don’t need to check you” she said you are there, we will have a baby in 20 minutes! I couldn’t dare to believe that, not enough time had passed. I insisted that she check me and so she had me get out of the tub and onto the bed. “This far” she said as she showed me a quarter of an inch of her finger, “that is how far you have to go!” Again, I was in disbelief that we were almost done--I had just admitted to myself that we were actually in labor. “Two contractions on the toilet so he can turn the corner and then back in the tub to push.” Turn the corner, turn the corner, why wasn’t I remembering this from all of the classes, books and videos that I had watched? I didn’t make it to the toilet before another contraction hit me--I was feeling excited, a little scared but mostly just focusing on the task at hand. i could hardly believe that we were almost there! I remember wondering how long that short distance might take--hours? How many? I think I had one or maybe two more contractions and then I got back in the tub which was now warm(Doug had refilled it for me) I remember hearing Rebecca instruct Doug to turn off the air conditioner so when the baby came out he wouldn’t be chilled, I remember telling Doug to have Leslie come in as soon as she got here, and then I remember thinking that the baby was too big to come out and then it occurred to me: THE BABY CAUSES the ring of fire--it never really made sense until now. As I had through the whole process I remember thinking: This is temporary, I can do this, women have done this for generations, you can too. Through the whole process I really did do whatever my body demanded--thank goodness for all of those conversations beforehand with Doug. We talked about my fears, my doubts, what I like and don’t like when I am in pain, his fears, what we really wanted out of this experience and why and because of all of those MANY conversations I was able to just surrender and know that he was there with me, no matter what. Rebecca just kept saying, “ease him out” but he was coming and I wasn’t doing anything! She instructed me to lift my chin and blow OUT, which I did. I remember thinking that my body was delivering this baby, I was just along for the ride! Before I knew anything Leslie was there in the doorway of our tiny bathroom. Doug was on the toilet, Rebecca, kneeling by the tub and Les in the doorway--panting. I asked her to take some pics and told Doug where the camera was and the next thing I remember is everyone gasping and suddenly a baby was on my chest. “Be careful not to drown him, that tends to give waterbirths a bad name” Rebecca joked. I held on tight to the little squirmy warm thing in my arms and all I kept thinking is: he is so big, I can’t believe he fit inside me! I turned to Doug and whispered “that was easier than I thought” I held him and whispered to him while Doug watched and marveled with me. He was here! Now for more business, Rebecca said that my placenta was detaching a little early so we would have to cut the cord a little earlier than normal, and we did. Doug cut the cord, placenta was delivered and now it was on to standing up. I got out of the tub, dried off and headed to the bed to get checked out and to snuggle with our new family. While Rebecca talked to us and stitched me up Grayson began to nurse and Doug and I just snuggled him and took in all of his little noises. Leslie was busy finishing setting up a few things around the nursery and got us some snacks, took pics and put Grayson in his first diaper! There were instructions, an exam, weighing and measuring, and lots of laughs. All the time I just kept thinking: he is here, we have a baby! How did that happen! I was in a cloud of relief, love and new sensations. The chubby little baby seemed pretty content and we finally got the all clear on a clean bill of health. Rebecca “tucked us in” with the baby between us in bed and told us she would call the next day to see how things were going. Les was spending the night and sending and receiving texts from well wishers and brand new grandmas and grandpas. All the while we were just snuggling and cooing and in awe. As Rebecca closed the door I remember looking over at the baby between us and thinking: he is just here, in our bed, like he owns theplace!

Doug's Point of View

It was Friday August 26th around 6:30 and I was just finishing up work. Mickelle comes up the stairs and calmly asks me a question. "Can you clean out the tub with disinfecting wipes?". I respond with "Do you want me to right now or can I do it after I finish up work?". She requests right now because she isn't feeling great and wants to take a bath to feel better. Trying to be the supportive birth partner, I promply hop up and start cleaning out the tub.

So far, nothing was out of the ordinary. About and hour later, we were sitting at the kitchen table trying to figure out dinner. She requested Indian food so I ordered Saag Paneer from The Star of India. Mickelle wasn't feeling well enough to go with me to get the food so she just hung out while and went and picked it up. It was around 8:00 pm when I got back with dinner. We both enjoyed it very much.

After we were done with dinner, Mickelle tells me that she is having Braxton Hicks again. We decide that we should do something to take her mind off of it until they go away. I inform her that I have an audio book on my phone called The Joy of Finding Things Out. She replies with "That sounds interesting. Let's listen to that". So we get all setup to listen to the book while laying in bed. The book starts talking about physics and about 10 minutes into it, she decides that she doesn't wan't to hear the noise.

At this point she is having to get comfortable for the so called "Braxton Hicks" contractions. This was around 10:00 pm. That made me wonder if I should start paying attention to these things, just for grins. So I start timing the contractions. Mickelle was having to go to the bathroom about every other contraction and each time she did, another contraction would start right away. After an hour of timing, they were kind of sporadic in both how long the took (between 0:20 and 1:15) and how close they were to each other (between 7:00 and 2:00). I was paying attention pretty closely at this point but was waiting for the contractions to get more regular and more intense. I also kept asking Mickelle if they were getting more intense because it sure seemed like it to me. She kept saying "No, I don't think so". I send a text message to our midwife (Rebecca Williams) letting her know of the timing of contractions and she tells me to keep her in the loop.

We then went upstairs to try the tub again and I timed the contractions for another hour. The contractions were still sporadic but on average happening more often. There were about 17 contractions in the hour, which of course averages out to clser than 1 every 4 minutes. I then text the midwife the new timings and she writes back "Hmmm".

It is getting close to midnight at this point and I'm pretty sure that we have started labor. The midwife's uncertain answer reinforced my idea that we were beginning labor. I tell the midwife that mickelle is still laughing at my jokes and that the tub is slowing the contractions down. I also tell her that I'm not sure what to think. She writes back with "Time will tell". That was kind of a frustrating answer because I felt like the signs were there but there were conflicting signs as well. And after all, the midwife wasn't even sure.

It wasn't too long after that text from the midwife that things were getting pretty intense. The contractions were coming much more often. So I write back to the midwife letter her know. I was trying to indicate that we are actually in labor. I think she knew but didn't want to come and distrupt the process too early. She writes back"Let me know when I am needed" which of course was also frustrating. In an attempt to give her more info, I let her know that we probably aren't going to get any sleep tonight and that blood is coming out. I don't really know when the midwife is supposed to show up so I ask her when is normal. She writes back with "I come when you want me to.. :)". Arrrgh! I don't know!

At this point I am texting with my left hand and rubbing Mickelle's back with my right. I'm trying to be supportive and say the right things as it is obviously very intense. At one point a said a very bad thing... "Try to stay cool calm and collected". She almose killed me at that point. I'm getting pretty excited that this was really happening and at the same time getting ready for the long haul of labor.

It was probably about an hour later (although I'm not really sure because time was beginning to warp) that things got so intense that I decided people (Leslie and the midwife) should probably come over. I text Leslie three times in a row to try and wake her up. We were a week early so I'm sure whe wasn't expecting to be getting a text message in the middle of the night. After a minute and no response I give her a call. No answer. I try Tom's phone with no answer. I'm starting to get a bit nervous because things were progressing faster than I thought and I wasn't able to get a hold of Leslie. With Cleo around, Leslie had to show up to take her to Mike and Heather's in order for the midwife to make it in the front door.

At long last, I try and call Leslie's phone again and this time she picks up. I was so relieved. I told her that we were in labor and that it would be great if she could come get the dog so that the midwife could come over. Thinking that Since Leslie didn't have to travel as far, I went ahead and texted Rabecca to start heading over.

Right after that, Mickelle tells me that she thinks her water just broke. In my head, I'm thinking "Good thing I already asked them to head over". A few contractions later and things changed completely. Mickelle's body started pushing and her sounds changed to be more volume than I knew her body was capable of. Of course we were in the bathroom so I'm sure there was some resonance going on. Mickelle is starting to freak out now saying "My body is pushing and I can't stop it. I don't it is supposed to be pushing yet". Now I'm thinking holy #@&% this baby is coming soon and nobody is here. I guess I can "catch" the baby if needed and the midwife shouldn't be too far behind. I immediately call Rebecca to tell her to hurry. She answers the phone and hears Mickelle and said "Ohhhh, I'll be there as soon as I can. Just tell her to keep low tones. She is sounding great!"

I'm feeling a little bit better that the midwife is hurrying but Leslie still hasn't shown up yet. I was thinking that 30 to 45 minutes was about right for Leslie to make her way. I wasn't exactly correctly. I'm not sure how long it took, but I remember thinking "really? More than 45 minutes?"

Leslie showed up and started getting Cleo ready to go. As she is headed out the door, Rebecca also showed up, causing quite the scene in the hallway. I'm sure Leslie could go into more detail about that whole thing. As Rebecca is making trips back and forth to her car and Leslie is leaving, Rebecca tells Leslie that "we're going to have a baby soon!".

When Rebecca make it up stairs to the bedroom, she walks in and said "your baby is going to be here in about 20 minutes". Mickelle still didn't believe she was that far along and said "Don't say that until you check me". Rebecca said that she needs to go get one more load from her car and then she will check.

When she gets back, Mickelle hops out of the tub and makes her way over to the bed. Rebecca does the check and come around pointing to about 0.25 of an inch down on her finger. "This is how far in his head is" she said. There was a wave of excitement that washed over me and probably Mickelle. I then drained the tub and cleaned out any particles and started to fill the tub back up. Rebecca then asks Mickelle to do 2 contractions on the toilet to help the baby "turn the corner". Mickelle didn't quite make it to the toilet for the first one and squatted about half way there. "Perfect! He just turned the corner" said Rebecca. So Mickelle did one more contraction on the toilet and then hopped into the tub one last time.

As soon as Mickelle got back into the tub, the baby started crowning and Rebecca coached Mickelle through slowing down to help prevent damage. By the way, don't forget that Leslie still isn't back from taking Cleo. I text Leslie and let her know that the baby is crowning hoping to get her to hurry. Mickelle tells me that she wants Leslie to come see, which was a different stance than she had before labor. A second later Leslie comes in the front door and I motion to her to come quick. She makes it in time to see the baby's head half way out.

A couple more contractions and the baby slips out. Rebecca puts him on Mickelle's chest and covers him with a towel. He let out a couple quick cries and then quiets right down and just starts looking around. He looked like he was in better shape than I was expecting. I was so happy to see him. I was also excited to see Mickelle's face and how happy she seemed.

We start the introductions to the new little guy and attempt taking pictures in the dark tub. Rebecca tells us that it looks like Mickelle's placenta detached a little bit and that we wouldn't get the full 15 minutes of cord blood time. After about 6 minutes she clamps the cord and lets me cut it. A few minutes later the placenta is born. We then move over to the bed, everyone ecstactic! Rebecca declairs "You've done it! You did all the work without me. You are part of the birthing Elite!"

The entire labor went way faster than I expected. I guess some call it "a race car" labor. It felt like it caught us by suprise despite our hours and hours of preperation. We went to more hours in class than we had in labor. In the end, everything was so amazing and went so perfectly. Fitting for such a perfect little boy!

A peek

2011-10-04T23:39:00.000-07:00

I am a Mom, we are parents. And it couldn't have been a more intense and perfect experience to have our first child.
The video is a glimpse into our first week together. What you don't see are the endless meals from loved ones, words of encouragement, love and understanding and just pure joy from every person we encountered that made so much of the precious time we had possible. Also you don't see Leslie, without whom Grayson's birth and the days following would have been much different. From photographer to chef to teaching us how to swaddle and bathe a new baby you were our guardian angel. Thank you forever Les. For everything.

To my mom and dad: thanks for trusting me and despite being scared to death for us to have a out of hospital birth, you were supportive and encouraging. Also thanks for being my parents--I know it hasn't ~~always~~ ever been easy.

To Doug's parents: thanks for raising such an amazing husband and father--without him and his undying support for me I would have(and always would) crumble.

To Rebecca-you are amazing and oh so wonderful. You have changed our lives for good and we will be forever grateful.

To Doug: There are no words. I just wish I could show you, every day, the kind of support, trust and warmth that you have shown me during this pregnancy and birth. There is no end to how much I admire, love and cherish you. Even if I could it would never be enough. I love you.

To Grayson: You are an amazing little boy--you are so very loved and I never knew just how much I could feel until now "when I picked you up and everything changed"

Tears at 39 weeks.....and braxton hicks

2011-08-26T14:47:00.000-07:00

Pics may come soon--but for now I wanted to share this song--it is getting to the part where we can have this baby at any moment and things are starting to get real.
I heard this song and teared up a bit but it mostly made me so excited! I cannot wait to meet our new little person and see what he looks like and hold him and let him know just how much he is wanted and loved. (and show him all of his new cool stuff! Thanks to our family and friends we are all set up! As soon as my print arrives I will take some pics of the nursery for your viewing pleasure)
Until then? Braxton Hicks are kicking my butt! It has been 24 hours straight of every 10 minutes or so. I am really happy that something is happening but it is kind of making me less fun to be around for sure! (not to mention scared sh**tless for the real deal)

Good morning, son.
I am a bird
Wearing a brown polyester shirt
You want a coke?
Maybe some fries?
The roast beef combo's only $9.95
It's okay, you don't have to pay
I've got all the change

Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it
And you're so much like me
I'm sorry

Good morning, son
In twenty years from now
Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
And I can tell you 'bout today
And how I picked you up and everything changed
It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew you'd feel the same things

Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it
You'll try and try and one day you'll fly
Away from me

Good morning, son
I am a bird

It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew you'd feel the same things

Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it
Oh, we're still fighting it, we're still fighting it

And you're so much like me
I'm sorry

37 Weeks

2011-08-15T13:35:00.000-07:00

We have been busy busy at our house! I finally found a crib, glider and also a changing table! The changing table was sitting in my parent's garage-my dad made it in High School and Les and I used it all growing up--it is perfect and I am excited to be able to use it! We also had 2 amazing showers(I will post pics when I get them) Other than a few little odds and ends we are feeling as ready as is possible when expecting one's first baby.

Songs this month:
Both to Doug both because he is amazing in too many ways to count or even think of in one sitting.

Accepting defeat

2011-07-09T17:48:00.000-07:00

It has been 8 weeks since I have posted. A lot of that has to do with Doug being really busy, traveling and me being really busy. But almost as much to do with the fact that I spend most days in Yoga clothes and no makeup(comfy and I have been doing as much Yoga as possible). We went to Lake Powell and had a great time(I know there are pics of me in a bikini somewhere, maybe I will post them, but not likely) and Doug went to NY twice and purchased his first onsie--he brought it home and it made me almost cry! Also I have been trying to be helpful because my sister and moms(including Susan) and others are working hard to put on not one, but 2 showers for this new baby and I couldn't feel more loved.
One of my favorite parts about being pregnant is when strangers smile at me(read: not when strangers give unsolicited advice, that is different) it is fun to feel like we all have something in common and we are all human and in this together. It is a feeling I wasn't anticipating(that and having my neighbors carry stuff for me) I have been so lucky and my heart is warmed almost every day with random acts of kindness from strangers and the strength and selflessness of those close to me(you know who you are) I think our baby boy is coming both into a family(including many friends that are family) and a world that is amazing, wonderful and full of much more good than not. Yet another feeling I was not anticipating.

For one of the showers we decided to make a "blankie" and have everyone help(i love this idea) My Grandma Bench used to make us all a blanket when we were born and they were just the perfect size to grow up with. From keeping us warm, to providing comfort on the floor, to being dragged around for comfort this blanket was all of our favorite and so, in her memory we measured mine(above) and are going to make Baby Boy's the same size. It is times like these that you miss the ones that have gone the most. Most of my grandparents are gone, but their memory and traditions live on.

My goal is to try not to go 2 months again between pics--lets hope I can do it!

Doug's Adventures

2011-06-13T07:31:00.000-07:00

Doug has been working hard on this, his latest project, that is making waves in education. It has been mentioned here,and here.
And can be downloaded for FREE for parents who want to know what their kids should and will be learning here and here
It has been a fun adventure living in the unknown and often unintuitive world of ed sales.
I am proud of him and what this product is trying to achieve. Not only is it informative and useful for teachers(and free to schools to use) I think that with the FREE app it also gives parents a chance to be more involved and see how their child is learning and how they compare to other children in their class and in the nation.
The beauty of it really is that teachers are allowed to track mastery of skills but are not being forced to do so. Teachers are people too everyone--this product leaves the art of teaching up to the teachers, which is rare in these post "no child left behind" times.

Good start on changing the world Doug!
Check out MasteryConnect Here

Week 24

2011-05-13T11:14:00.000-07:00

This week has become increasingly uncomfy in the sitting department. I feel like someone is sitting on me if I sit for more than a few minutes(standing and laying are ok still though) We got our stroller and it is GREAT! One baby item down, millions to go. I am having a hard time decorating the nursery(it will eventually fill the space where we take these pics) I feel like once I find a crib and a sheet set I like everything else will come pretty easily. Additionally we are going to Lake Powell next month with our families so swimsuit season has never been more stressful! We start our Brio Birth Classes on the 26th, which we are both really looking forward to. It is 2 hours a session for 12 weeks. We had better be experts in birth after that long!
This week may be the last that I can wear some of my regular clothes(except those are definitely maternity pants--thank you JEN!!) As shown I had to leave the bottom button of my my vest undone(very classy indeed)
On another note, Cleo will NOT leave the room when we take pics every week. She knows what her job is and does it well! If there were an outtakes reel on this week her head was in more than half of the photos.
Like this:

"mom is it my turn yet?"
Doug and I know that if she didn't want to be there she would not be(examples are when the shower is on, she is nowhere to be found(hates baths) and when there is loud music(hates dancing))

Additionally, I get tired about 8:30 every night. Doug has taken a pic of me yawning every time and so I feel like I need to post one. The times that seem to be convenient to take pics always fall around the 9-10 PM timeframe so yea, I really look like this:

And I had to meet clients this day, I normally look a lot like a homeless person(go ahead, ask the Jenn Air repair man or any of my neighbors--I can feel them thinking that Doug and I physically are not a good match and that I must have a really great personality.) One of our neighbors actually described Doug as "practically a model" --not helpful to his wife who feels like a whale, but nice all the same :) Pregnancy is hard on the self image for sure!YES I KNOW you get a baby at the end. People say this to me ALL THE DAMN TIME--I get it! I am so very grateful and excited and happy to be having this experience, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard at times. Right?(please take these and all of my comments with the appropriate amount of dry humor and sarcasm that tinges all that I write and think and speak) Those that know me well are aware that I am a huge sap at heart.
This week's Song

and to Doug-I love you, this one is for you:

Week 22

2011-05-03T17:24:00.000-07:00

Yea, I've never worn leggings(not jeggings J ;)) and a long tshirt before but I also did not plan on it being winter FOREVER. Pregnancy has forced me to get a little creative with my wardrobe because I am trying to avoid actually buying a new wardrobe. Additionally if I don't tie something at my waist I just look fat instead of preggo.
So it looks like we are going to stick to every 2 weeks instead of every week. Reality does not stop for pregnancy. I feel like I am HUGE and, as every one likes to remind me, it is only going to get worse. The toy is from my Mom-she gave it to me 1 pregnancy ago when I first found out I was pregnant. Thanks Mama! The biggest change has been how intense the kicks have become. I can feel him getting stronger which is fun.

And then there is there is THIS:

My tummy has officially outgrown beer belly status(as shown above) He was totally sucking in--cheater!

My Current Idea for Nursery

2011-04-28T11:16:00.001-07:00

AIRPLANES!!!

We bought a Stroller!

2011-04-28T11:06:00.000-07:00

There are only 3 or 4 things that I want to buy before I get too huge.
one of them is a stroller(travel system).
The others are:
Convertible Crib
Glider
Changing table
Diaper Bag

Yes it seems bare bones but I feel like I can fill everything else in as I go.

Either way, we found Orbit Baby
and it seemed to fit our lifestyle and wants and needs pretty well. So we began shopping for one. New they are so very expensive so we started looking on ebay, second hand stores and such. We found a floor model of an older model at a local baby shop for a pretty good price but it was pretty USED still. Then Doug used his internet magic and got a brand new latest model on ebay for LESS than the local store was going to sell us one for even with shipping!
We are waiting for it to arrive(until then it will seem too good to be true)

I feel very parent-ish after this purchase--lets hope we like it!

lighting solution for us?

2011-04-27T17:16:00.000-07:00

Found this house on Dwell. WOW! These lights must cost a fortune, but I want them--maybe I can buy one at a time?

Gwenny & Auntie M

2011-04-24T13:17:00.000-07:00

Jen and her beautiful daughter came to visit this week. If you recall, I was there when Gwen was born!
It was fun to see her in all her girlie cuteness--Come back and visit again!

Fun Pic from Mike & Sammi's Wedding

2011-04-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

This Me with my Sister Leslie and my Brother Michael. We look different but the same, like most siblings I guess. I love this pic because my Brother looks so proud and grown up. He and Sammi were married last summer and I haven't posted any pics because I have received any yet(hint hint :)) I found this one on my mom's camera randomly and wanted to share it--m

20 Weeks

2011-04-21T12:50:00.000-07:00

We are behind again. Doug has been non stop working to meet 2 big deadlines and I have also been super busy with my work as well. PLUS I need to at least be wearing makeup to be photographed and that rarely happens these days. Although, I have found that if I wear this lip gloss people often tell me I have "that pregnancy glow"

Neutrogena MoistureShine Gloss, Berry Fit 400

So life is busy. Also, after our ultrasound my midwife called to let us know that the radiologist found two cysts on our baby's brain called Choroid Plexus. After some major research and a few deep breaths followed by a few big decisions we are moving forward with fingers crossed that we are part of the 99% that never see any effects from this diagnosis. He is perfect in every other way, and we are having fun preparing for his arrival.
Note: the outfit I am holding is a gift from my childhood friend Jen. the shirt says: "Mommy;s little guy"--LOVE

Baby Boy Weber at 19 weeks

2011-04-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

That is what our disk is titled. We were referred to Millcreek Imaging Center by our Midwife and I am so happy we went! It was the fetal photos experience but you also have a radiologist look at everything afterward to make sure everything looks normal. I am officially one of those women who post pictures of the inside of their uterus and yes, it is different when it is your own :)
We went in expecting to see organs and get measurements but the 4D part was such a GREAT surprise! We feel like we know a little about him(he moves a lot and fast, likes to wave and suck his thumb--you know, standard baby stuff) Count us amazed and excited.

Week 18

2011-04-04T14:34:00.000-07:00

YES we missed week 17. I am not sure why, but we did and we will forever be sorry. What a huge change from 16 to 18! This week I feel a lot better even than week 16 and have started exercising again which is SO GREAT! Thanks to Leslie for making me buy the grey skirt that I always feel confident in--it was a coincidence that it was used 2 weeks in a row, but what can I say? I love it!
This shoot was 9PM on Sunday night and I was TIRED! Doug had to do his best to get me to smile and look remotely decent. We are starting to get the hang of how we want the lights to be so hopefully in coming weeks he will be able to just focus on his ridiculously camera shy subject.

This week's theme song:

Pre-baby weight

2011-04-04T13:15:00.000-07:00

I found this photo on one of my cards and it was so fun to see me pre-baby weight :)
This was a self timer photo taken on our way to the Utah premier of 127 hours-fun times
and fun to have photos of pre-baby us!

It's a BOY!

2011-03-25T12:32:00.000-07:00

I have given up trying to be right about anything at this point. Doug NEVER faltered from his BOY bet and it turns out: he is right again! The ultrasound tech said that there is no doubt, and well, even to the untrained eye, that is definitely a boy! Yesterday I went with my sister to buy my first baby clothes. I brought home a onesie that says: "handsome like daddy" and wrapped it up and gave it to Doug. It is official, with a few more months of growing and a whole lot of luck we will have a son!

This Nephew

2011-03-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

"This is a water tank that hold water for our sink."

A post that is long overdue.
One day, and it was not a good day, my family was having a lot of hard things going on with my
Dad and I had miscarried yet again. This came in the mail from a faraway nephew(and mailed by his mom)
and it just made my week! I have had it by my desk since-it was a gesture so random and with such humor(this little nephew possesses humor in spades) that it made me forget my troubles and laugh out loud.

Thanks Carson, I really needed a laugh and some perspective(and thanks Janelle for sending)

Spring has sprung?

2011-03-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

Well it is a warm day today(mid 50's=warm to us right now)
So I bought my first herbs! I LOVE herbs and I LOVE spring so today is a good day.
I also LOVE second trimester instead of being sick all the time.
SO I am off to plant before it snows tomorrow(yes, these will be container herbs in my kitchen at least
for another month or so)

Week 16

2011-03-20T16:36:00.000-07:00

One more thing is that I was really, really tender this week. The reason you see two outfits is because on the first day(the one with the hat) I started crying in the middle of the shoot so we had to continue the next day. My body(and moods) change more than I ever expected possible! Doug is my rock, his ability to understand and love me always blows me away.
Theme song for the week:

15 weeks--More baby than ever!

2011-03-14T17:03:00.000-07:00

This was the first thing we saw today in the ultrasound--a perfect little reclining kid. After this he hid from us most of the time(proof positive that Doug's genes are in there?--no sitting still AT ALL), but this was just so spectacular! If you compare it to last week I like to think I can explain why I have been so darn HUNGRY! Can you say growth spurt?
Next month we will find out the sex(until then we are calling it "he" since Doug does so with reckless abandon, not necessarily because he wants a boy, it just comes out that way so why fight it?)

Oh Baby!

2011-03-04T11:25:00.000-08:00

14 Weeks and still kicking!(all 3 of us)

I went off of the progesterone this week which was terrifying to say the least.
My midwife, who I ADORE told me to come in for a "peek" when I started
to feel this way and so I did and BOY did I feel better after that!

Why all of the Ultrasounds? Well, I am part of the EAger Study at the
University ofUtah so that was one at 6.5 weeks, then I have had one every
month of my first trimester to just make sure that we are still on track
(since apparently my body doesn't recognize when a fetus is no longer viable)

I feel really really lucky to be surrounded by many women
that have helped me heal and help me get excited about this one and now
that I am past the scary first trimester, I am starting to believe them!

Thanks to Rebecca, Sue, and my family who continue to cross their
fingers and provide support when I am at my lowest :)

And to Doug--lets hope trimester 2 is more fun than 1--thanks for carrying
the groceries and rubbing my feet--oh and for not moving out.

Scouting it out.

2011-02-22T13:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, as Doug was coming down the stairs, I heard a VERY loud THUD. Since my desk sits under the stairs it sounded like he was falling ON me. It turns out that he slipped on our stairs and this wasn't the first time. Also, a year or so ago I slipped and hurt my ankle(which still hurts) SO we decided that perhaps we should get some carpet on the stairs to prevent one of us from falling to our untimely deaths.

So--the hunt is on and I am scouring the internet looking for what I want. Here is what I have so far, tell me what you think:

NOT the zebra print, but I like the width of the carpet in relation to the stairs.

This one I HATE the width of the carpet in relation to the stair width(not to mention I am not a fan of Zebra print--what is it with that today anyway?)

Gpa Gallup

2011-02-21T09:32:00.000-08:00

Today marks the anniversary of his passing. He was such a grumpy, hilarious, caring hardworking man. I grew up very close to my grandparents. After he retired from the Fire Department he and my Grandma sold their house in West Jordan and bought a farm in Mt Pleasant Ut.(who retires and becomes a farmer? Well, my Grandpa did) He grew up on a farm in Montana so I think he wanted to return to his roots and Grandma was just along for the ride(what a good wife) Grandpa loved to play the guitar and banjo, farm and make creations in his wood shop. He also loved his dog Ben. The songs below are my mom's tribute to him today--we miss you grandpa.

Bike: Check!

2011-02-21T09:12:00.000-08:00

I almost ordered the other one until I discovered that Amazon had a major mistake in the listing and listed it as a 7 speed instead of single speed. SO I had to let the adorable Maroon bike go and find another option. We were able to find it at a target store so we didn't have to pay shipping or assembly so it worked out to be the same price!
Now I am just itching to ride it!

I got a basket for the front and am looking for something to put groceries in for the back now.

No, Cleo will not fit in the basket--but maybe she can learn to run beside for some MUCH needed exercise?

PS, My Dad(and mom) said it will be impossible to ride a bike with a "big belly" we shall see!

Grooveshark and sharing a playlist with your spouse

2011-02-20T13:41:00.000-08:00

Doug is an expert at finding, using and getting others to use new technology. He HATES itunes. HATES. It is somewhat unnatural how much, but in his defense: he found something MUCH better.>Grooveshark. It allows us to play music from our computers, phones(for the gym or car) pretty much anywhere you can get the internet without having to move music from one device to another(SO ANNOYING) and there is no limit(iTunes limits your devices to 3 or 4) ANYWAY, we both use it a ton and the other day I was listening to our favorites list(see above) and it kind of made me laugh. I hadn't listened to that particular list in quite some time when "Waking Up In Vegas" came on. I immediately paused it and yelled up to Doug: "Katy Perry hugh" to which he responded:" I didn't add that" After a long and drawn out discussion about WHO added the song we still haven't figured out who did, but it remains :)

A lot of the songs have been posted to this blog already, not surprisingly, but you can listen to our favorites list if you are interested(or if you like Katy Perry)

All the Love in the World
--US

Our life lately.

2011-02-20T12:00:00.000-08:00

So, since I am pregnant and constantly sick and CRANKY(sorry Doug) I have been trying to occupy my thoughts with what I am going to do IF I make it to my second trimester and IF I am magically not sick.(again, miscarriage makes you think of things much differently)
I have been wanting a bike to ride around town for awhile now and since it is SNOWING today I have been researching them. I found this one for a REALLY good price and I think I might get it and have it ready for a nice day.

Everywhere I shop and do Yoga is closer than 5 miles(including my Sister's house) so it just makes sense to travel these places on a bike and not drive since I will be trying my best to keep my weight down. Salt Lake City is rated one of the most bike friendly places in America with lots and lots of bike lanes so it is kind of a no brainier. Plus I can put a little bike thingy on the back to carry said little one if we get to have a baby(they also have them for dogs in the case we don't)
So I might order this in the next few days--we'll see.

Additionally, Doug has been trying to work out more which is great! He built himself a treadmill desk a while ago and I am so proud that he uses it almost every day! One day last week he announced that he had walked 10 miles in one day of work! WOW! I will try and find a picture or take one, he is so handy and is a true engineer both conceptually and physically. I am always surprised at just how much of a renaissance man he truly is.

My biggest job as of late has been getting the rental ready to be rented again. We WERE going to put a fireplace in our house, but instead, and this is the fun of having a rental property, had to replace the water heater in the rental instead.

It has been repainted(this time it is a pretty gray color--I will post pics later) Doug is switching out the thermostat to a programmable one and it now has a tankless waterheater(your welcome renters)
Being a landlord has been scary, fun, time consuming and educational. It has allowed us to weather a really tricky housing market with relative ease so we are grateful for that.

One more thing: we went with Tom and Les on Friday to one of of our new fav restaurants Frida Bistro
and to see this movie, which turned out to be HILARIOUS! Thanks for a fun night guys--it was needed!

BIG changes ahead!!

2011-02-14T17:05:00.000-08:00

Today we had a good ultrasound so I feel better about announcing:
I AM PREGNANT!!!

This is our 11 wk ultrasound and it looked "normal". Music to the ears of miscarriage
survivors like us!
Strong heartbeat, 2 arms and 2 legs and 1 spine. Doug took this picture and if you look closely, you can see a little heart where the face would be--what a great valentines day gift!

We. Are. ECSTATIC!
This song is one I used to listen to when I was a little girl and it made me wonder what it would feel like to find out that you are having a baby(back when I was also dreaming of my prince charming) It sums up the essence of what I am feeling.

--US

Avalanche and Nepal

2011-01-27T19:11:00.001-08:00

It has been quite a month! I was invited to come to Nepal for a quick trip to research a film I may be working on later this year and I was BLOWN away at the beauty of this country. We were only there for 3 days but if the project continues on I will get to spend a month in this beautiful place. It takes approx 30 hours and 3 flights to get to Kathmandu(the capital of Nepal). From there we were whisked away on a helicopter to a small mountain town, and then on to Dhampus where we spent the day scouting locations and taking it all in. I spent most of my time photographing and researching the markets(to buy wardrobe and props etc)

In other news, the song above, Avalanche, is my currant anthem. A bold one after such a hard 2010, but accurate all the same.

All the love in the world,
US

Bench Family Pics 2010

2010-12-22T08:45:00.000-08:00

Mike Bench Family & Grand-dogs

Mike & Sammi & Henessy

Tom & Les & Ruby

Doug & Mickelle & Cleo

This has been a hard year for my family in so many ways. My dad was in a very serious car wreck about a week after these were taken. I processed them and brought them to the hospital and hung them everywhere so that not only would he not forget that we love him, but that the Dr's and nurses would see just how many people love my daddy so they would do their very best to help him. After a month in the hospital I am convinced they did. I'd have to say, our family made it through a year that would have torn at the seams of most other families but we made it through--stronger than ever.
Le's hope for an uneventful 2011 everyone!

THE "holidays"

2010-12-22T08:32:00.000-08:00

Where to start.

My work, as is customary for my work, has been non-stop for the past month and a half or so. I have been working on commercials and really meeting and working with some great people. The downside?
Doug is left to fend for himself with Cleo. Those of you that have kids are rolling your eyes right now because
you think taking care of a dog is cake, but I am here to tell you-she takes more time that you might think!
And when deadlines are looming large Cleo knows just how to be needy at the wrong times!

I knew that I had failed as a wife when Doug asked me a few weeks ago if we should start Christmas shopping--DOUG: the grinch himself, the ANTI Christmas guy--his heart really does get 3 sizes smaller every year just for the month of December(luckily he has a big heart so he has some to spare)
I was horrified at his question because Christmas was the FURTHEST thing from my mind and would be for another 2 weeks.

So this year I am making it easy on myself in every way including but not limited to forgoing putting up a tree. I am a little sad, but mostly grateful because no one is disappointed. Getting into "the spirit" takes a lot of time and energy that I just simply could not muster this year. Being a wife is hard work!

Doug's work has been insane and promises to just keep getting more busy--we are lucky to love what we do, but it doesn't leave a lot of room for much else(like a vacation!)
New Years Resolution? Work less, play more--

Happy Holidays everyone!

m

7 Years and Counting

2010-09-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

This year ~~we decided to~~ I forced Doug to agree to a photoshoot for our anniversary. The fact that we have very few photos of us and Gigs and GIGS of other people that we hardly know finally got to me.

Luckily we had a great time(hopefully it shows) I decided to copy pacing the panic room and make a montage instead of selecting single photos--for a quick and dirty project, it turned out ok.

Keep in mind while watching that Cleo is a stage dog who works for kisses. By the end of our 3 hour photo taking extravaganza she wanted to speak with her manager---

Needless to say, it took us all that time and all those photos to get a few to hang--

You have no idea the amount of strength it took to NOT process all 300 of those video images

We did have an amazing weekend. A-MA-Zing. Happy Anniversary My Love--Thank you.

--yours,
Mickelle

I finished!!!

2010-09-12T14:10:00.000-07:00

To my In-Laws: Spoiler Alert!

2010-09-09T19:19:00.000-07:00

I can't help it, I had to post these and brag about just how adorable all of my
nieces and nephews are--I get to photograph them every other year and it is so fun!
Also Miss and Wayd and Alice--they are pretty cute too ;)
Sis-in laws and Alice--they are on their way to you very soon!!!
m

Seeing Stars

2010-09-09T08:59:00.001-07:00

Today is a rainy day in SLC so naturally I turn my
playlist to my comfort music: Dave Matthews Band--

In the middle though, this song came on and it made
me smile. To Doug: I love you more every day my dear-
"your my favorite book"

As Of Late

2010-09-07T12:47:00.000-07:00

This Summer has been an interesting one for sure--
The pic above is from our Weber Family Reunion in
Ogden Canyon--we stayed in a beautiful home overlooking
the valley--more pics from the rest of the families to come

Additionally I was invited to be at the birth of my lifelong
friend Jen's baby girl Gwendolyn Claire--
Jen had a beautiful home birth sans pain relief(WOWZA!)
to a 9.8LB 22.5 IN baby

And on a slightly irreverent note considering the beauty of
birth I bought my first sewing machine, and, after careful consideration
I have decided to make my own drapes(yes, sometimes I boarder on dillusion)

127 Hours trailer released!

2010-08-25T09:31:00.000-07:00

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"My" movie, as my mom calls it, has just released a trailer and it is so fun to see!
I feel like I got to see all of the fun behind the camera, the logistics of everything that was going on and all of that. What I mostly took away is that movies are made by people who are VERY hard workers. People who do the majority of the crappiest work ever and receive very little credit.
Luckily everyone at the top on this movie were gracious and very open to everyone on the crew feeling a part of the magic, but I can tell you: there was no shortage of insane work weeks, dangerous and grueling jobs and crazy drama :)

I am so excited to see it and hope it does well during awards season!

Where Have All the Joiners Gone? | Bill McKibben | Orion Magazine

2010-08-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

Where Have All the Joiners Gone? | Bill McKibben | Orion Magazine

4 Weddings and a Funeral Summer.

2010-08-11T11:33:00.000-07:00

Doug's Grandpa Hawkins passed away a few weeks ago. We had the memorial service this past weekend which, as you may expect, caused me to reflect on my time with him the past8 years or so.

Mostly I heard things that I already knew: he was a very incredible man with a gift for listening and being supportive--even long distance. He was patient, humble. gracious and kind. All qualities that are hard won for most of us, but he possessed them all and had them on display, it seemed, at all times.
One quality that I have always been particularly grateful is his ability to be accepting of Doug and I despite our lack of participation in his chosen faith(and the faith of almost everyone in his family except us) I always admired his approach to the subject. He never once treated us differently or shied away from hearing about our lives as they are--as scandalous as it may have seemed to him, he never flinched.

Please do not misunderstand, this does not mean that no one else in the family is not this way, quite the opposite actually, but Grandpa, as was stated MORE than once during the Memorial celebrating his life, had a truly special way of showing he cared. No prerequisites, no nonsense--he cared deeply and completely.

What a Hero, what a life he lead--he will be missed.

We love you Grandpa!

My new hobby and Cleo

2010-07-14T12:19:00.001-07:00

This has been a weird year, there is no doubt about that.
So I have taken a few months to just breathe. Luckily
Doug is on board(Something that I am grateful for every day)

In my spare time, I have taken to growing a little garden on my
deck. Although it is time consuming, it has been a healing and
very rewarding. Every tomato, every pepper and every breakfast
or dinner I cook with materials from my own garden makes me
grow stronger.
It is fragile, but I am beginning to feel more like
myself every day.

Additionally, how gorgeous is this dog? As Jen witnessed while she
was here, she actually poses for each shot--Just like a pro! She is
also undergoing some pretty dramatic changes as we attempt to
"positive reinforce" our way into her liking new people and dogs.
We have enrolled in a a Fiesty Fidos Class at Calling all Dogs

The after effects of being opinionated.

2010-07-12T16:22:00.000-07:00

Let's start with waking up the next morning and thinking: Did I say(write) that out loud? Followed by wondering if everyone you know hates you followed briefly by wondering if that guy at your 10 year reunion was looking at you funny because of your scandalous blog post or because you have something in your teeth and then?

Getting over it, and quickly.

Bottom line: I believe and feel every word I wrote. Does that mean that I hate Mormons or Anti-Mormons? Nope. Does it mean that I want them to hate me back? Nope.
Does it mean that I will be quiet when they try to run my city and enforce
upon me their beliefs? NOPE!

So let's move on everyone, let's agree to disagree: I will stop ranting on the dominant religion and I will try not to kiss a woman on main street and you agree to leave me and politics here alone deal?

Didn't think so--let the ranting continue but maybe later--on to what I have been up to lately--photographing again!

I have to say that after a break I had a good time with these two families--fun to be living in the Right side of my brain again---instead of just making enemies, I have been making family heirlooms people!

Mormons. And those formally known as.

2010-07-07T16:34:00.000-07:00

Salt Lake City is a lot of things. Extremely polarized happens to be one
of them. I am fairly positive that in order to live in Rome, you do
not have to be an expert on the Catholic Church. In stark contrast,
in order to live in Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan you DO have to have
a somewhat basic knowledge of Islam or you will be very uncomfortable
there. I have to say, that Salt Lake City is much closer to the latter.

A good friend mine was recounting a very well known phrase that everyone
who has ever set foot in Salt Lake for more than 5 minutes risks hearing:
"Those that leave the church just can't seem to leave it alone"
This is true for so many more reasons than I can cover here(or ever)
but it did bring up a topic that is at the tip of the brain, and gag
reflex at all times as Salt Lake City residents who are not members
of the "dominant religion". This church refuses to be ignored and
if you live here, it is jammed down your throat by the faithful, the
formally faithful, the newspapers, hell even the bums do it AT EVERY TURN. Every dinner party, night out, lunch date and business meeting we have, even if it is
out of the country, when people hear we are from Utah it DOES NOT MATTER with whom or how much we drink it
inevitably turns to the MORMONS(or, the DAMN MORMONS as I like to affectionately refer to them as even while they are present)
Here is the worst part:

It is RUINING my social life, and my city.

You ALWAYS have to pick a side. It isn't one of those things that you can 'other' check box out of either. In Utah, you either mark Yes, Hell NO!, or Marie Osmond(the artist formally known as a real Mormon but now may be classified as Jack)
No but seriously there is no 'normal' box to check. You know, the one that doesn't reflect years of being either in or out. Acceptable or not. mysterious white undies or thong.

Being oblivious is not really possible.

Living here is like a big game of kickball where teams are picked by
whether you know the secret handshake or not. And it is EXHAUSTING and
a little anti-climatic. It's like this: when you meet someone new, whether
socially or in business you are constantly thinking: "are they or aren't
they?" Mostly because you can BET your next paycheck on the direction the
relationship will go based on the answer to that tiny little question and
it sucks(note: also true when dating and yes, the paycheck would have to
be AFTER tithing)

I live in a building where the answer to "are they or aren't they" has become
a game we play. Whenever someone new moves in, a group of us play the game(based
solely on what we can see in their moving boxes and through the windows before
they call the cops.) We do this mostly because we want to know if we should avoid inviting them over for Wine Friday. Mormons, after all, respond to such an invite with a visit from the local missionaries and then, well, let's just say it gets rather
ugly after that.

I think I lost my point.

Wait: There it is!

I want a Normal Box. The kind that doesn't inspect my undies or think of
ways to get me to join their team. Sometimes I feel like I am living
in the real life equivalent of a land-grabbing, hostage taking, diet coke
drinking, passive aggression slinging, experiment. Note to those in charge:
This outlier is thinking of relocating. And it is all your fault, although,
sometimes it seems intentional to root normal out and just leave the extremes.
This way, both sides win, at least in their own minds.

Denvering it up--

2010-07-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

So....at some point during dinner one night last month Doug
and I were looking over our calendar and decided that if we
didn't get away from all the craziness that is our summer,
and soon, we were going to either end up dead, divorced or
worse: zombies who drain our bank account and leave the country
never to return. And no one but Leslie and maybe our accountant
would know where.
Listen, you may think I am being dramatic but what would you do
if you had 4 weddings, 2 family reunions, 3 bachelor/bachelorette
parties to attend, 3.5 businesses to run, 1 Garden to attend to, 1
neurosis infused puppy to take to a class where she has to learn to
be nice to: that's right, you guessed it: other neurosis infused puppies!
and yet dammit, I forgot to order my navy blue shoes for a wedding
that is next week! And yes, in a fit of control freak overload I ordered the chandelier
that Doug was only somewhat liking on Ebay because it was $200 cheaper!

Needless to say Doug looked at me frothing at the mouth and twitching one
night and said: I have got to get you out of here!

So Denver it was. He was attending a conference there anyway so it seemed to
be a natural fit to just extend the trip. While we were at it(and in a storm
of irrational trip planning major misjudgment) we decided to bend our rule on
never(NEVER) driving further than 6 hours and drive, 8.5-9 hours to Denver.

I cannot even begin to describe HOW misguided driving was....so I won't. Let's
just say that it ended with Doug telling me that I am the only child he can
handleand if, IF we ever were to reproduce we were never going to be traveling
via car ANYWHERE, ever. Mom, Dad, I think he now understands why Benadryl and
loud music were the staples of road trips when I was a kid.

Back to the trip. The day before we left I got a massive sore throat. Being the tenacious traveler that I am(ahem, by plane only) and considering the severity
of our situation we pressed on. Again, misguided but whatever. The place was
paid for and our bags were packed!

ONCE we arrived things began looking up. Our condo was located in the very hip
and very tan and in shape neighborhood of LODO(lower Denver for those of you who
don't speak Denverese) right next to the river and Union Station.

I was still not feeling great, but considering allergy season in the great
SLC has been the worst to date, ever--I was NOT going to let a little hay-
fever ruin my good time! So loaded up on Claritin and we were off!

We started with dinner with Dustin and Mandi at a local brewery, Then the next moring renting bikes
at the park near us in 95 degree weather, and then BAM my "allergies" took a turn
for the worse. We had planned to go and see our friends Jake and Sam in Boulder
the next day so we opted to sleep the rest of the day to try and get back on track
for a day of fun! On the way back I ended up twisting my foot and not being able to
walk. Doug, being raised by a nurse and all, sprung into action. He iced my foot,
loaded me full of antihistamines and decongestant and sent me to bed, for the rest
of the afternoon.

The next day my foot was miraculously healed and the allergies were much improved
so we we headed to meet our good friends Jake and Sam at their spectacular abode
in quaint and exclusive Boulder, CO.
We talked, laughed, and hiked, ate and heard about their upcoming wedding in Kansas and
somewhere between nuptual talk and sushi I started to wilt and fast--we ended the night
quickly( I think they could tell I was not myself) it was very apparent that this was
not allergies--

The next morning I went to the Dr and he told me I had a cold(not surprising since
the poster in his office goes through all the many reasons that your cold is NOT
an infection)

So again, we went home to sleep in hopes of being able to do something fun and exciting
on our last day of vaca.

We woke up, ate and since I was still feeling horrible we decided to spend the afternoon in the park, on a blanket, staring up at the clouds. I haven't done this
for at least 10 years, maybe never. It was so much fun! After a few hours
of talking, really talking, Doug was summoned to work.

It turned out that he only had to work 1 day instead of 3 so we got to play one day
(I was still sick, but on the mend and still limping)

We arrived home in once piece, tired and with a new resolve never to drive more
than 6 hours but for me, a renewed appreciation for my amazing husband, some great
new insight into his life and plans for the future, and caught up on my sleep for
the first time in I cannot even remember how long. So I guess, in the end, while it was not exactly the trip we had planned, it was the trip we needed.

place holder and pretty funny

2010-06-01T11:43:00.001-07:00

I Know the Heart of Life is Good.

2010-06-01T08:39:00.000-07:00

My Mom is an avid Neil Diamond Fan. She can't get enough, his music really hits a nerve with her and growing up, we all learned to appreciate "Neil Baby" as we lovingly call him: like it or not. Whether boating, camping, making dinner or in the car his songs(along with the likes of CCR, Buddy Holly and Simon and Garfunkel--thanks Daddy ;))
comprise the soundtrack of my childhood.

Even today, if my mom finds a song that speaks to her, about you, she makes sure to share it with you.
This is something that I learned to appreciate and now relish in as an adult--even though my mom has gone severely to what I consider the dark side of music(Country) I still find it so flattering and overwhelming that she is always thinking of me--something I hope to understand one day when I have my own children.

I have always had an acute awareness of lyrics--In fact, one of my many memories with my Daddy is on a rare occasion, we were on a road trip together, just him and me. We were listening to one of his tapes(yes tapes) and I was singing along. He turned to me suddenly and said: "how do you know every single one of the words to every one of these songs?!" At the time I shrugged it off and we kept on driving--but that moment stuck with me for some reason-funny what we carry with us--
Even today I often will forgive hokey or otherwise untalented musicality for stirring lyrics(much to Doug's dismay)

I realize that using song lyrics to make a point can be
corny but sometimes I just can't help it. I guess along with being a night owl and being flat chested Mom just passed that one right along. When I find a song that
speaks to me I just feel connected to other people.
I feel like I am not alone in being in love, happy, having
a perfectly perfect day or being just plain devastated.
Call it a coping mechanism, and mock it if you must, but it works for me.

While I was working out last week this song came on
and I have to say, it opened my heart and healed it a little.
It felt so good that I paused right in the middle of the sidewalk, closed
my eyes and just basked in it.

I have a feeling that John Mayer is going to be my Neil Diamond
All together now can I hear a "John Baby"? Ah well, maybe in 20
years I will be lucky enough to have Daughters that make fun
of my somewhat questionable taste in music.

Until then: Here is one for Mom, One for Daddy
I like to think that they were passing on wisdom
and courage in the songs that they chose to serenade
me with throughout my childhood. Guys, I listened.

Thanks now and always

Neil Baby:

"The Heart Of Life"

I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears
And listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then, circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good
I know it's good

Snowing today

2010-05-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

Today it is snowing and life has been a bit hectic.
I had to cover my flowers and herbs and bring the tomatoes
in. Finding a few locations for a photo shoot, and a few meetings
for neighborhood and city issues.
OH and Doug is back from a LONG business trip to Tokyo--7 days is too
MANY!
Today I am cooking dinner(a rarity here is our world) and I am trying to talk Doug
into going to see this movie

Ready to be public again---

2010-05-16T20:44:00.000-07:00

So...I disappeared for awhile. It happens :) Since January I have been working on the movie 127 Hours starring James Franco
I learned a lot, worked A LOT(my sister actually said she talked to me more when I was abroad) and met some amazing people.
I did have to quit 3 weeks earlier than planned because I was pregnant--operative word: WAS. This was our second try--the first was in Nov, we found out while we were in Japan. It miscarried at 10 wks, this one at 12. I have put off telling everyone because I feel such a mix of things. All at once I feel ashamed, devastated, discouraged and cheated. Trying again seems so scary( i am sick ALL DAY LONG) and sometimes I wonder how it is that people actually have healthy babies(and in our state MULTIPLE) Let's just say that meeting and working with the amazing Danny Boyle pales in comparison in my memory to the day that the dr told us, again, that there is no heartbeat. Don't worry, this blog won't turn into a pity party YET, but seriously, I never thought that one little thing could have such an effect on my psyche, my work and my outlook on life.
I am back to my old self finally and ready to again return to the land of the living but changed in ways I never thought possible.

Beautiful!

2010-05-06T21:24:00.001-07:00

My masterpiece for the day.....and oh yea: I am back among the living--more later

A little something I put together for a project I am working on

2010-01-27T21:27:00.001-08:00

Wanted to make DSLC a little more comfortable for some people I am working with so I quickly drew this up(just a FEW of my fav restaurants!)
Thought it might be helpful to you too!

A former life

2010-01-22T16:26:00.001-08:00

Going through old files--MAN this seems like a long time ago when I used to do this for a living:

sigh, sometimes I miss it. THEN I remember: never having a day off, never taking vacations, stressed out brides, stressed out mother of the brides, never seeing my husband, and oh yea having way too much DATA to back up---then I remember why I stopped :)

What we do in our spare time

2010-01-04T14:41:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm certainly not going to be without PLANS!

2009-12-29T12:32:00.000-08:00

I don't know about anyone else but I was tired of the old and tired, family exclusive, dry(in all senses), and expensive First Night. I planned this year
to stay in, with friends and be bored. Then I heard about Eve: WOW what a change
this is going to bring to DSLC with it's amazing line up of events for ALL(young, old,
Republican, Democrat, saint and sinner alike!) Events are inside and out and there truly is something for everyone(including little Ms Cleo who may be attending the animal activities at the Gateway)
Check out the schedule and maps at their oh so glossy and easy to use website
From an art treasure hunt, to fireworks, to outdoor concerts to kids crafts all with free parking, dining discounts, and free transportation on the 31st this is the most bang for your $15 there is going to be on the big night and the 2 days before! I'll be there every day! I live in the middle of everything! All of the events are a short, free Trax ride away!

Adding on to the Box

2009-12-24T13:20:00.000-08:00

You may remember last year's post about my desire to secure a holiday tradition that would both honor our beliefs and also the traditions of our ancestors(if not read here )
This year I found the box and the blanket--the box will sit under our tree as decoration during the holiday and then come out on Christmas Eve. This year we will write in our journals, snuggle in the blanket, and in the morning, make festive shaped pancakes(a new tradition this year)

Happy Holidays to all!

Santa Pub Crawl 2009

2009-12-24T11:34:00.000-08:00

Since Salt Lake's Liquor laws have been significantly relaxed it has been a lot more fun(and a lot more safe) to have a great time in our capital city. Gone are the days when 21 year old kids were driving from bar to bar(because of the 2 per block limit) and also gone are the days of the cover charge--especially if you are dressed up as Santa!
Every year 300+ people crowd the bars of DSL dressed as Santa, moving from Bar to Bar, singing and generally making trouble. We were in that group for the first time this year--We had a great time with old and new friends alike!

Life since Tokyo

2009-12-18T08:36:00.000-08:00

I have been kind of a slacker since we got home!
Our trip to Japan was truly a once in a lifetime
experience!
Since we have been home it has been a flurry
of events, shopping, decorating, and sending
cards and packages.

This year we will be writing in our Journals
and, as promised I am making our cd filled with
"Christmas music" from both Doug and I's families.

Still working on the Box and Blanket but those
will come with time.

Also, I managed to fill in every year since we
have been married with ornaments so now we have
2003-2009 covered! It is such a fun tradition
to have a family ornament--thanks MOM for
teaching me the importance of that!
Now our tree is full of memories from
each year!

The Holidays are my FAVORITE time of year
and this year has been no exception!
I love the hustle and bustle, tons of
family gatherings, reflecting on the
year with pics, videos etc and cuddling
up because it is COLD outside(now
I just need to convince Doug that we
need a fireplace :))

Happy! Merry!

2009-12-17T09:36:00.000-08:00

Doughnut Factory at Gma Webers!

2009-11-29T08:48:00.000-08:00

Our New Tradition for the Day after Thanksgiving
(and a sticky, fattening one at that)

This is Aunt Susie's recipe with a little
Weber family love they turned out YUMMY!!!

Whilst watching stuff on my Tivo:

2009-11-04T09:02:00.000-08:00

I came across this little bit of deliciousness.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

For Fox Sake!

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

Hey Japan! Ready or not HERE WE COME!!!

2009-11-02T17:33:00.000-08:00

So:
Where to begin.
hmmmmmm......

Well I could start at the part where Doug is ETERNALLY BONDED to his computer....no that isn't very interesting.
Or I could start at how awesome my b'day was but that is a little outdated....

AH YES this will do: WE ARE LEAVING FOR JAPAN in 4 DAYS!!!!

We are headed out early early Saturday Morning and will return on the 19th. Just in time for Happy Thanksgiving!
While we are away I will leave you with these little gems--if I get a sec I will also post some travel pics along the way. OOO if you want to check out one of the places we will be staying(complete with communal bath--look here to read all about Ryokans(traditional Japanese Lodging) here
Otherwise that's all til next time!

If you guessed that Doug was a Mormon Missionary for Halloween then you would be WRONG! We went as a couple from the 50's(inspired by the GREAT show Madman which all of our friends simultaneously pressured us to watch--glad they did!)

The Palm Pre and Me

2009-10-26T12:44:00.000-07:00

I have been a Palm Pre user and Sprint convert for several months now(recovering from a very long term one sided and abusive relationship with Verizon)
Let me tell you this little phone is the first time I have fallen head over heals for
a device.
Ways it makes my life better:
1. it has an awesome camera--so less in my purse(or suitcase as some of you know it)
2. more than one app running at a time? FINALLY a phone that understands my manic multitasking!
3. Streams NPR live--wait maybe this should move to #1 since I am officially an all day listener(I just can't help it that Doug Fabrizio is so damn HOT--you too Teri Gross)
4. can you say virtual post it's?
5. full keypad--need I say more

6. Syncs with my life--After I got the Pre I stopped using my paper planner--let me tell
you, this was a BIG DEAL people--guess old dogs can learn new tricks afterall(assuming you get a treat like the Palm Pre :))

Reasons to dump your carrier and join Sprint:
1. Customer Care--REALLY? Do Verizon and AT&T think they can fool us with the name?
I actually got to the point when I was with Verizon of not being able to speak to them because I would automatically ask to cancel my account. Doug took over(because generally he is much more calm) about 2 calls in he suddenly started searching for a new carrier.
2. All cell phones are free? This happened to be a little bonus that happened about a month after I joined. Seriously? Awesome!
3. Since everyone I know if on Verizon and now all cell phones are free Sprint took the time to call and inform us we were WAY under on our minutes and that we could save about $50 per month if we went down in minutes we pay for. I almost asked the representative to marry me right there. It is hard to find a company to trust these days--the good ones are all taken(or out of business, or being put out of business by Walmart)
4. My monthly fee covers everything. GPS data, text--no nickel and dimeing--is this for real? I am a little traumatized still by Verizon and their schemes but I am learning to trust again and making so much progress!

OH and Dear iphone users:
DO NOT write to me about your phone--been there, done that, I've told you:
no religious wars on my blog, well, unless I say so!
(ps I am sure you are just redirecting your anger at me away from Apple, since you now have to pay A TON of money to upgrade--yea that would make me bitter too--get it? bitter apple?)

One more thing about the Pre and Palm: their attention to the open source community is rather refreshing. Anyone who has been through the Apple mess that is making apps for them can attest: open source is SO much more enriching and lets you keep your hair and your blood pressure where they belong.

So there you have it-me, declaring my unabashed love for the Pre. Time to go back to eating that lemon poppy seed cake my sis made for me for my b'day--Thanks Les!

Foster Art Program Report: John Sproul

2009-10-16T15:45:00.000-07:00

Another piece that we have been fortunate to be fostering.
John Sproul's work was immediately intriguing to me because of the haunting nature of his subjects and the vibrant use of color--a strange and beautiful combination that made me want to see more, and more.
This piece has garnered universal dislike from all of our guests but for some reason, it calms me.
The comments have been mostly of intregue followed up universally with "what are they doing" many see athletes, some see slavery, others have commented on the strong same sex vibe of the piece. Me? I see common man and how we are all more the same than we are different--a lesson, sometimes the only lesson we should all learn over and over.

Mr Coffee-Tall, Dark and Handsome

2009-09-24T10:52:00.000-07:00

So far in my life I have managed to escape with a few, harmless, yet ferocious vices.
They are, in no particular order: ice cream, bad tv and craigslist.

I have managed to avoid the oh so common: "I must have a cup a day of coffee in order to feel normal" -thing- but yesterday, while in Smiths something happened that I can only describe as genetics combined with a great sale.

My family, who's only real common worship of an identifiable belief can be summed up in: boating, coffee and Budlight, are COFFEE PEOPLE. Not: "espresso, must have the best beans, froofy " types either. Real, black, gritty down to earth Coffee People. And other than the a fore mentioned items, we are one of the most diverse of any family I know--and I like it that way.

All of my childhood memories are tied to coffee, the smell in the morning at our house, the sound of any one of my uncles at Flaming Gorge noisily rummaging through camping gear to make a fresh pot to share, and even every Christmas morning bargaining with my parents to get out of bed in the wee hours by offering to make coffee if they would finally get up(usually at 3 or 4 am).

So it may be interesting to note that Doug and I have so far resisted getting our very own coffee maker to make our home complete.
Long story short: I never felt the need to add yet another vice to my life and actually like to stop through the drive through at the local coffee shops for the occasional treat.

Yesterday though--yesterday when a very basic model was on sale for under 20 and some, coffee drinking, family tradition gene took over-- I caved.

So welcome to the family Mr Coffee! Here's to many good years and to low cal
options after the initial newness wears off when I start gaining "coffee weight"

Foster Art Program: I am in LOVE

2009-09-23T09:25:00.000-07:00

When I was invited to join in on the first Foster Art Program I was at once salivating. The list of artists was even more intriguing, and once the first meeting came along I already had my list in my head.

We ended up fostering several artists:
The first, and the spotlight today is Thomas Aaron

We have known Tom for a few years as a friend and have always admired his work.
When we went to pick out our piece to foster we knew immedietly which one we wanted.
When we realized that it would not fit in the Fit(a first for us--sad day) Tom told us just to carry it home--I was incredibly doubtful(plus I was in heals) but without many other options we picked it up and started the 2 block journey home.

We hung it and now have been enjoying for about a week. This piece speaks to me on so many levels: it's design aesthetic, color, complexity and size all make for a perfect statement for what we have deemed to be our "feature wall"
Thanks Tom!

my sidekick

2009-09-22T11:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Cleo and I wandered the streets photographing--we
were out for over 3 hours and Cleo was such a good sidekick
(and bodyguard)

Here are some of our images:

Try the Monki--a refreshing alternative to "don't touch the Monkey"

2009-09-17T17:07:00.001-07:00

Those of you that know and love me(ok put up with me is more like it but I digress)

Those of you--you know who you are: well you know that I LOVE and embrace technology and allow it to run my life. This fetish and dare I say obsession is often fueled by
my tech geek superman husband who feeds it and fans the flame and sometimes roasts marshmallows and makes smores over it...again I digress....

What my internet bot filled life has been missing(and mourning) is a way to make a shopping list from a recipe and then save it--all online, all accessible from the mobile device of my liking(nope not going there--no religious wars on this blog--well, not today anyway)

I have been searching and searching, and begging Doug to build, and searching, and obsessing and searching for the right tool(sans monthly subscription, downloadable version, ugly site--you see where this is going right?) I want my web 2.0, pretty, free, do everything I want, read my mind, blow my mind type of site that I am so accustom.

Today: I found it--or at least the Beta version of it--in Kitchen Monki

It is everything and more that I would want(it even links to facebook if you so desire) Try it--I will be for the next 5.2 minutes and believe me: if it fails the test you will hear that too--otherwise I will be happily integrating my somewhat meager recipe collection and making list after list--just for list sake--

Go ahead: pet the Monki-you know you wanna

Wine Friday is ON this friday night!

2009-09-16T09:27:00.000-07:00

Come one come all!
Most Fridays you can find us
at our house, complete with
the latest boxed wine(try to
reserve judgment for both
the wine and the boxed :))
some dear friends, and some
great discussion/video game playing/
fun---It is the highlight of the week
and we hope you can join us!

Friday nights-
7ish(heavy emphasis on the ish)

our house

D&M

On the subject of wine...the mayor of our
great city is accepting comment on the new
liquor laws that are being proposed--
leave your comment and mark on Utah's
crazy liquor laws here:
and soon!(comments only accepted until
Sept 25th 2009!)

So many happenings, so little time!

2009-09-08T13:04:00.000-07:00

This summer has been quite a fun and action packed one!
Whereas last summer we were out of the country, this year
we stayed close to home--and boy a lot has happened!

We got a new "nephew" Hennessy(Henny or Henny Penny for short)

You may notice in the background Cleo is waiting to eat him--He is the sweetest,
most cuddly, WIMPY little puppy you will ever meet! I am so happy to have another
doggie in our family(Cleo, however, the jury is still out on her thoughts beyond--
"get that little ankle biter away from me or I will eat him")

Further proof that Les is ready to be a Dog owner(she is getting angry right now--I can tell)
.....................................................................................
In other sibling news: Tom and Les bought a house!
I'll let them share the details and pics but this
Realtor sis was so happy to be able to help(and happy
it worked out so well!)

They stayed with us for a few days while their hardwood floors were installed--
when this was taken they said "DON"T post this on facebook" Promise kept!

.....................................................................................
Doug's Grandma & Grandpa Hawkins celebrated their 60th Wedding Anniversary(complete with a party that was so fun!)

.....................................................................................
Last but not least we took an AMAZING trip with the Bench Family to Alaska!
Thanks Mom & Dad!

Getting run over by life in the fast lane

2009-09-07T10:08:00.000-07:00

Can you imagine what the world would look like
if everyone actually took weekends, holidays, and
vacations off of work? Ok Europe--the US would look like
it was related to Europe-- "oh look she has his eyes" and all that.

Lately we have been doing just that: taking the weekends off to work
on personal stuff and not work. While this may come as somewhat of
a surprise to me, all of you out there are just shaking your head in utter
amazement at my ignorance--I have discovered a secret: No WONDER people can paint their nails, do room make
overs, walk their dog, have long walks on the beach, cook meals, have clean
laundry--the list goes on and on! This is quite the revelation and after
working almost every weekend of my adult life(Doug too) I'm giving working
on the weekends the bird and, well, taking the weekend off!

You will note that today it is Labor Day and Doug is working from home--we
just had 2 FULL days off--that was enough--if we don't work sometimes
then we might get used to just laying around and talking and doing home makeovers,
reading, listening to NPR and eating in
that the will to work and support ourselves might just disappear--so in honor
of Labor Day: well, we are laboring.

C'mon the first step in admitting that you have a problem right?

Some fun pics that never got posted

2009-08-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

Doug's Brother Dan and his family came to visit in July--we had SUCH a great time
with them and their amazing kids!

I'll just go on like nothing happened

2009-08-28T10:03:00.000-07:00

So I'm a slacker--sue me!

This weekend Doug and I went to the new exhibit at the
Salt Lake Art Center. I am always thrilled to go to
this somewhat under appreciated resource in our city--
I was blown away and very happy to see the exhibits and
MANY opportunites to take part in art activites--everything
from free kids programs to continuing education--check it out
at their website

20 South West Temple
Salt Lake City, UT 84101
Phone: 801.328.4201
http://www.slartcenter.org/

Admission is always FREE

Tuesday - Thursday & Saturday: 11 am - 6 pm
Friday: 11 am - 9 pm
Closed: Sunday, Monday & Holidays

Stephanie Wilde: Harmed
All American:
Defining Ourselves in a Time of Change
through October 31, 2009

Love this song

2009-07-20T23:17:00.000-07:00

A Beautiful Mess

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
Though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt oh dear
Cause here we are, Here we are
Here we are [x7]
We're still here
What a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

Through timeless words, and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds, out of this earth
And times they turn, and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses, and stained our shirts
But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it.

View from my window

2009-07-16T05:49:00.000-07:00

I woke up early this morning, on my own and without an alarm to puffy clouds and from my bed this was the shot--puffy clouds happen so rarely here that when they do they are worth note, although, it may be that I never take the time to notice--either way I was enchanted by this scene.

The past few weeks have been quite the blur as we had visitors from Minnesota(Doug's brother Dan's family)
Doug had a really busy week with work as have I and we are getting ready for Doug to head to Japan this weekend and then after that we are off to Alaska with my family.

For now though I am going to enjoy the quiet of 6:30 AM and my puffy clouds

Happy 4th of July Everyone

2009-07-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

and sincere thanks to all that make this possible.
Happy B'day America!

HELP!!!!

2009-07-02T17:27:00.000-07:00

I know it has been awhile but I going to throw this
out to the Universe!
Our condo was supposed to come with and was built around
this LG washer/dryer combo:

Read about it here

We can't find it anywhere and we are now starting to fear that we won't find
it at all(yikes)
So yea--anyone that can find it for us(yes this exact model) will get our
gratitude and $100 prize---let's see if the internet can work miracles!

Back to life--almost!

2009-06-23T07:35:00.000-07:00

Well,
All I can say for myself is that I have been pretty distracted
with all of the stuff that comes from buying a new house and renting
another. We have been here a week now and I am still unloading boxes,
cleaning our old place, getting ready for the renter and finishing up
ordering some furniture--
Doug's race went really well. For those that don't know Doug ran the
Wasatch Back Relay--a relay race that is about 180 miles long from
Logan to Park City--Their team had a great time and although Doug
couldn't walk for a few days he was glad he did it--Thanks Mick for
planning it all in style!
We celebrated Fathers Day with my Daddy this weekend and will celebrate
with Doug's when they get back from their fun trip to Vancouver!
We are getting pretty excited to see Dan and Janelle who are coming
to visit from Minnesota for a few days with our two nieces and two of
our nephews.
Jen and Bryan are also coming into town to visit--LOTS of exciting stuff going
on!

With all the craziness Doug called me after he left work this morning to inform
me that he had left his wallet in his pocket and asked if I could please not wash
it--I appreciated the warning--

Good Movie

2009-06-11T16:12:00.000-07:00

Scary, passionate and strangely awesome--downfall?
Leonardo DiCRAPrio---Not a fan

Story book ending--prepare to be offended in some way

2009-06-11T11:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the end of what I can only describe as
4 months of mental agony and non stop stress.
It was the perfect end to this story. Since the beginning
everything has been so stressful, on edge and
uncertain. If it is not one thing it is another--contractors,
insolvent lenders, timelines new guidelines, bad moods of
underwriters, incompetent brokers, failing banks: you name it,
we've slogged through it and it has been intense.

I was beginning to wonder if we were indeed supposed to give it up and buy
a McMansion in Draper and live happily ever after and resign to a life of Diet Coke sippin', 5.5 kids rearin', SUV driving neighbors(no offense--to most, this is what is considered the "good life") I have tried living in the burbs and found it isolating and mind numbing--I just don't fit in--THE END

Call me selfish, call me stubborn, call me narrow minded but I have found where
I think I belong and I was devastated that I might not be able to buy the ONLY
home that I have liked that has more than one bedroom(believe me we have looked
for over a year)

Yesterday our lender called to tell me we would have an answer by no later than
noon--so I prepared for the best and the worst and by 4 pm still didn't have an answer.
Since we have lived here whenever I get down, have a big decision to make or
just need company I head down to Carlucci's--our neighborhood bakery/eatery/coffee
joint--So there I just sat, and waited, and read and took in the surroundings, the people, the rain and how much I wanted to stay. Then, almost on cue, my phone rang--it was the broker telling us that we could close Friday at 5---I hung up, breathed deep and closed my eyes: Finally an end, and a good one.

In hindsight on the days when I want to give it up and move to Draper(or Sandy) this
process and the long hard battle will serve to remind me that this is what I
wanted--more than almost anything!

PS Moving Party on Saturday--unless of course all of my WONDERFUL friends and family
from the burbs have finally disowned me--Can't we agree to disagree that I hate your cities but I love you? C'mon! :)

Doug's Baby---sorry mom it looks NOTHING like us

2009-05-19T11:11:00.001-07:00

OPENHALLWAY is born!
Born May 4th 2009 to proud parents in Las Vegas NV.

Check it out! Doug and his business partners have put their heart
and soul into this project and hope that the world finds it useful!

If you go to the blog you
can catch a video of Doug and his friends talking about it.

This is very exciting on a number of levels--including but not limited
to me possibly getting to see Doug for a few days :)

Update

2009-05-19T10:46:00.000-07:00

Dear everyone,
We have had an extremely stressful
and busy month and a half. Please
accept our apology if we have ignored,
been cranky to, or otherwise made you
angry--bad behavior will subside once
we know where the hell we are going to
live and once work stops threatening
to end both of our lives.

Sincerely,
Doug, Mickelle
and Cleo(who has
been treated horribly
too)

So we didn't move yet--and it will most
likely be another few weeks still.

Yes we are still in boxes, yes we are
still phone stalking our broker and
yes we are on our last nerve.

The good news is that it will be over
soon enough and after waiting for 3 months
to buy this place we have really had a chance
to dig deep and determine that YES we really
do want to buy this property. This past weekend
Doug was so sweet. He had been out of town
and we hadn't seen each other for about 3 weeks.
I was melting down and fast because I had been
dealing with all of the contractors, the lender,
the seller AND both of my own buyers without him
for too long. On Friday he told me to forward all
calls and emails to him and he would take care of
it. So my poor sweet husband took the brunt of every
thing for 12 full hours while I turned off my phone
and dove into a full 4 hours of Tivo'd bliss.

Then he took the weekend off to spend with me(for those
of you who don't know us well this usually only happens
on Christmas and MY birthday) It was much needed and
really helped me calm down and breathe a little.
I never would have guessed that buying this place would
be the most stressful thing we have ever done together,
but it turns out being helpless and just waiting has
that effect on us.

yes we are still alive...

2009-05-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

just barely!
We have been too busy the past few weeks!
Doug went on a business trip to Vegas all
last week and I went to Vegas to help Jen
plan her all important day--then met up
with Doug his last night--we flew home together,
spent a few days together and then Doug jumped on
another plane to San Fran for more meetings and I
am left here to deal with the house thing again!

Bottom line: Buying a condo is tough to do these
days and we just have to deal with it ;) Lenders
are really leery of condos because entire complexes in
places like Florida and California have failed and
banks have lost big--so patience is the name of the
game I guess.

For those that have been waiting we should
know very soon and with any luck be moving
in this weekend(finally)

In other news Our Brother Michael
got engaged to his girlfriend Sammi, our Brother Tom is graduating
from Pharmacy school this weekend, our sister
Missy ran a 1/2 marathon, We celebrated moms on sunday(love to
you both Alice and Heather!)

Exciting stuff!

Another one of Utah's shining moments

2009-05-01T08:12:00.001-07:00

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Better Know a District - Utah's 3rd - Jason Chaffetz

colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

First 100 Days

Almost there!

2009-04-30T19:16:00.000-07:00

Mostly kitchen pics this time because that is all there was left to finish!
We are hoping for a quick close tomorrow!

And now the moment you have all been waiting for.....

2009-04-30T12:10:00.000-07:00

NOT REALLY!!!
We are STILL waiting to hear about our close time
two days after we thought the deed would be done.
My nerves can't take much more of this--esp since
I am caught in box or to not box limbo--
I have all of our clothes set our on our bed,
ready to be put in a box, but I don't know if
we are moving yet so I keep contemplating about
whether or not I should just leave them(obviously
I am joking because at this rate it could
be another week at this point) or put everything
away, just to be put in a box hours, maybe days later---
Same with my bedding, I have cleaned all of our bedding
and now...do I put it on just to take it back off again
for the move(which would mean another wash since they
will be going on the guest bed in the new space)

WHY?? do you ask are we in this waiting game hell?
Well, it all started back when we got approved for our
loan and our loan officer assured us that we would be
able to close--then surprise after surprise requirements
kept coming in from the underwriter until NOW--3 days past
when we were scheduled to close--The property is a condo
and apparently is a special case so now it has nothing to
do with us and everything to do with the property(would have
been helpful to know before we did 3 weeks of remodel, but hey:
it's only $$ right?)

Anyway, Doug is going out of town Monday so if we don't close today
or tomorrow we are out of luck until he gets back in a few weeks.

More progress but still a lot of dust!

2009-04-19T20:02:00.000-07:00

So we are counting down the days and it is going to be tight! We hope to be closing by the 27th or 28th--just in time for Doug to go to Vegas for a week :(
Everything is looking good but there is still a lot of work to be done!
We will need to knock on wood, cross our fingers and all that jazz in order to make
things happen on time--I'll be sure to post pics of the final
For those that are interested these are the things we are changing/have changed:
-Painted ceilings white(a hard choice but the best one)
-Painted all doors black--again hard one but looks great!
-Changing countertops from butcher block to Bella marble and marble backsplash:

-Painted cabinets white
-adding these pulls to kitchen:

-painted gray color in kitchen:

-adding farm sink to kitchen

and a few little things here and there
Thanks to our amazing designer Heather for
making our place amazing thus far!

stay tuned!

And we're OFF!!

2009-04-12T20:05:00.001-07:00

Painting should be done Monday, marble by the end of the week and appliances too---now just waiting for the farm sink--we are on target to close by the end of the month(knock on wood)
You will all be invited(or evited as it were) to the grand opening bash!

Our current obsession

2009-03-29T21:12:00.000-07:00

..................................................
Some of you may know and some not but we have been
in negotiations to buy this loft for awhile now--
We are so excited to move in but there is A LOT of
work to be done! The space is exactly what we need
and is in our fav little neighborhood--here are the
before pics(ie what it looks like now) I will TRY to
keep you updated although I am horrible at this stuff!

The Truth Sometimes Hurts

2009-03-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven't had the joy of seeing me first thing in the morning
this is exactly what I look like:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

For those that have I am profoundly sorry--
That's right Doug--I'm talkin' to you!

Me and My Groceries--all over town!

2009-03-19T11:48:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was shopping day for me--why
Wed you ask? Well the biggest reason
is that it is Doug's poker night with
the guys--other than that: I had time
to come up for air--OR DID I?

Yesterday was an open day with a busy
afternoon/night. Because of my WONDERFUL
neighborhood and neighbors I had my night
chuck full of events(who needs Doug anyway--who?)

SO I went to Smiths, and then to Costco and headed
home only to discover that it was 6pm!! I was
supposed to be at the DCC meeting AT 6 and I still had
to drop off my car and groceries! SO instead of wasting
all that time on that I decided to drive over and let
the groceries wait in the car--an hour wouldn't hurt right?
It's not like I had ice cream in my car and it was July!
So I went to the meeting and of course there were new
people to meet so I stayed for 1.5 hours, then, because
my sister lives in the hood now(which explains everything about
my apparent lack of posting the past few weeks)
so I stopped in to visit her for a sec(timer on groceries now at
2 hours) THEN i realized that I was supposed to be at the No Cookie
Left Behind Party at my neighbor's house at 7:30 SO--I packed all of
my groceries from my car, into the shopping cart that is provided by our
building and headed over to the party--with my groceries--
I planned, as always, to only stay for a few minutes(grocery timer
to be slightly over 2 hours, but if everything was still good it would
keep for another 20 minutes right--keep in mind that this type of
delusion fuels my life ;)) So I went, I partook and stayed for an hour--
grocery timer now at 3 hours--and all of my neighbors making fun of how
much food I actually buy for just the 2 of us--
The truth is--I have a feeling that this is one of the only neighborhoods
in Utah where something like this would happen--I am certainly not the
most busy person or the most social person in the state but I literally
know--outside of any church or work structure 20-30 people in my neighborhood--
WOW--love it!

Wolf Creek for Mom Weber's B'day!

2009-03-10T18:13:00.000-07:00

A few weekends ago we were invited by
Doug's parents to come up to Wolf Creek
to stay and to celebrate Alice's B'day

We had a wonderful time relaxing, giving
gifts and my favorite: cross country skiing!

Thanks for a wonderful weekend guys!
We love you!

They asked for it......

2009-03-09T19:06:00.000-07:00

Tom and Les asked me to design a masthead for their blog
awhile ago and never provided images(not that I asked)
so, one day last week when I was bored I took a few minutes
to create a faux masthead-for a laugh--
Take a look